Merlin & Viviene
by Avery72
Summary: Now middle-aged, Merlin has doubts about his decision to join Kingsman. Over the decades he had become the organization's linchpin, but he isn't sure anymore if that was the right decision. Merlin then decides to contact the American branch of Kingsman and find the only woman he ever loved. Takes place a few years after the film. Merlin backstory.
1. Prologue

**AN:** I hope you have as much fun reading this as I have had writing it.

"Merlin," a voice purred from the doorway.

The voice was soft, affectionate. And familiar.

Merlin turned in his seat and his heart nearly stopped. It had been almost twenty years since he last saw her. He knew it couldn't be her; she looked exactly as he remembered her, as if she was able to defy the passage of time. She was even wearing the last thing he physically saw her in: an empire cut red dress with a pearly white pea coat.

Now that he acknowledged her presence, she walked over to where he was sitting, frozen in his seat. Bending over slightly, she gently lifted his glasses from his face and placed them on the desk facing away. "My, my," she said with a smile. "Even in middle age you are still a handsome gentleman."

She adjusted the navy blue tie.

Merlin swallowed a lump in his throat, remembering the feeling of those elegant, yet strong, fingers. Her nails were painted in the same shade of red as her dress. Then Merlin noticed that her lipstick was also the same color.

"I'm only here for a little while," she said, perching herself on the edge of Merlin's desk.

Merlin opened his mouth, trying to form words. He struggled with all his might to say something, to say anything to keep her here with him.

"A…" he finally managed to mumble out.

"You should have gone with me," she said somberly. She forced a small smile on her lips. "I wish you had gone with me." There was no anger or resentment in her voice; just a deep sadness that indicated acceptance of what had happened and couldn't be changed.

She leaned over to kiss him.

Their foreheads touched.

Their noses brushed.

But before she could kiss him, Merlin was jolted awake.

Breathing heavily, Merlin sat up straight and looked around his lab. Nothing was out of the ordinary. He noticed the two young Kingsman agents who were now in the lab with him. He brought his right hand to his face to rub his temples.

"Are you alright, Merlin?" Roxy asked.

"I'm fine," Merlin replied in his typical stoic tone of voice. "I'm fine," he repeated, as if saying it again would make the statement truer.

He stood up and adjusted his sweater. He plopped his glasses on his nose and snatched up his clipboard, tucking it under his left arm. "You're here to try out the new handguns. We've outfitted them with…" Merlin spoke to them with his business-as-usual tone, as if they hadn't caught him sleeping.

Roxy and Eggsy shared a look, but they were too well trained to know not to ask questions.

/

Eggsy came barreling into Merlin's quarters when he heard that Merlin was leaving for an unspecified period of time, but not for a mission. Before he even got through the door, Eggsy was asking all sorts of questions.

"I'm taking a trip," Merlin said without losing any focus on his packing.

"A trip?" Eggsy raised an eyebrow.

"Personal holiday," Merlin sternly replied.

"You?" Eggsy asked in total and utter surprise. "Taking a personal holiday? Are you taking a piss at me?"

Merlin stopped packing and crossed his arms over his chest. "I've been here for almost thirty years. I believe it is time I took a personal holiday."


	2. The Story Begins

The Rat Pack. It was a term from the 1960's to collectively refer to the most popular and endeared American men of their generation: Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Peter Lawford, and Joey Bishop. They oozed the American spirit: maturity and class mixed with a little bit of rebellion, thought yet tender. They had an eye for detail and love for pizazz.

The Rat Pack was also the American branch of Kingsman.

The smallest fraction of a smile cracked on Merlin's lips. The first seven years of his career with Kingsman were probably his favorite. He and she spent five years taking orders and carrying out field operations for Kingsman. When she transferred to the American branch, Merlin followed her for two years assisting the Rat Pack in intelligence gathering, mission planning, and weapons development.

Then Merlin's world fell apart when she left him.

Merlin went back to London and became entrenched in his role at Kingsman. He realized he had a knack for intelligence gathering, mission planning, and weapons development; it became his permanent position as the organization's linchpin for the next twenty years. Merlin would never admit it, but to heal his broken heart he substituted Kingsman for the family he would never have. If they were his rank, they were his brothers and sisters. If they were any rank lower, they were his children.

When she left, Merlin also chose to close himself off from the Rat Pack and only maintain formal communications with them. This would be the first time Merlin was visiting them in-person in twenty years.

"Twenty years…" Merlin mumbled to himself. "It sounds like a long time, but it definitely doesn't feel like it." He let out a sigh. Merlin set the jet on autopilot, pulling himself out of his memories of his youth.

"What are you mumbling about, Merlin?" Eggsy asked, dropping down in the co-pilot seat.

Reflexively, Merlin pulled his handgun from the small of his back and held the point to Eggsy's forehead.

"Woah, woah!" Eggsy shouted. "Easy, Merlin!" Even though Eggsy had learned to trust Merlin with everything, there was still a lot Eggsy didn't know about the man. Any man who was bent too far out of shaped would break and given Merlin's sudden behavioral changes, Eggsy wasn't sure how far out of shape Merlin was already bent. The past few years putting Kingsman back together after V-Day had been hard on the man.

Merlin didn't lower the gun. "What are you doing here?" he asked in flat, measured tone.

"Thought you might want company."

"Why would I want company?"

"Long flight? Thought you might be lonely?"

"Eggsy…" Merlin said with a tone of disapproval, like finding a child with his hand stuck deep in the cookie jar.

"You just left in a hurry. Thought it might be something interesting. Never been to America." Eggsy glanced at the gun still pointed at him. "Put the thing down, yeah?"

Merlin slowly lowered the gun and slipped it into its holster at the small of his back. He cleared his throat and adjusted the collar of his shirt. He stood up and walked to the computer terminal in the cabin of the plane. Eggsy followed him and draped himself across one of the seats.

The two sat in silence for a very long time, Merlin ignoring Eggsy's pointed and curious stares.

"What's her name?" Eggsy asked no longer able to bear the suspense.

"Whose name?"

"The woman's name."

"What woman?"

"The woman who broke your heart."

Merlin raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

Eggsy smiled, knowing he was onto something. "Come on," he drawled. "Every man has a woman who broke his heart. What's her name?"

Merlin knew Eggsy had no idea what he was talking about, but Merlin also knew that Eggsy spoke the truth. He internally debated whether he wanted to share this part of himself with someone he still considered to be a punk.

Merlin sighed and leaned back in his seat. "When I was 19, I was selected as a candidate for Kingsman. We were in Peru…" His gaze drifted past Eggy's shoulder and outside the window. He had a far-off and fond look in his eyes, something Eggsy never expected to see in Merlin's face.

"Beams of pale white sunlight trickled down from the interstices of the overhanging thick foliage. Our mission was to survive and find the drop-point. I was pushing and stumbling through every imaginable shape and shade of green. At most I was able to see two feet in front of me; the foliage was that thick.

"I ducked beneath an overhanging branch and then sidestepped a tree root protruding from the earth. I knew I had to get to the drop-point by the next morning to get top marks, but I wanted to fix the scene to memory. There were pops of vibrant red, yellow, and orange flowers. It was a visually stunning place I knew I would never be coming back.

"I was breathing so erratically. I had been running so hard and for so long in the jungle. I just focused my sight on the horizon in the direction where the target was dropped. But I remember the excitement, the adrenaline pumping through my veins and the confidence that I was going to be the next Kingsman. I had never craved something so badly in my entire life.

"I relied entirely on guttural instinct to guide me through the uncharted territory. I also used my ears, letting myself be drawn towards the sound of crashing water. I found myself on the edge of a river and follow the river. I remember having to cover my eyes for the first five minutes because of the sheer amount of sunlight; I had been used to the darkness of the forest that it felt like the rays were assaulting me.

"Anyway, I found myself at the edge of a waterfall and the only direction I needed to go is down that waterfall. I stand on the ledge and look down; I figured I probably could jump and survive. I was laughing at the situation, I don't know why I found it funny, but I was laughing.

"Then she came barreling out of the forest. They told us that no one could help us here; that this was a mission we had to embark upon alone. I was stunned to see another candidate standing there on the edge of that waterfall. I knew she was another candidate because she was wearing the same jumpsuit.

"She was beautiful. She had raven black hair pulled into a tight bun, brown eyes so dark that it almost was if she could pull you into an abyss with them, pale skin. She had full lips and when she smiled at me I felt my knees go weak. She was slender, but strong. Her voice… it's sharp and intelligent, but it is also soothing.

"She said to me, 'When we are young and eager to conquer the universe, all we need is a poetic phrase to define the course our lives will take. What is your spirit of adventure?' She took a few steps backwards, still smiling at me; she made a hard pivot and ran straight off the edge.

"And then, without thinking twice, I leaped after her."

Merlin stopped talking.

Eggsy didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. Eggsy simply stared at Merlin, his jaw hanging open. Of all the Kingsman, Merlin was probably the most "normal" of them all; Merlin did enable him have sex with the Swedish princess. But Eggsy was not expecting a story or emotions of that caliber from the man. It was obvious that Merlin had thought about meeting her all the time.

"Close your mouth," Merlin chided the young man. "We are not crawfish."

"But wait… You were made an agent…" Eggsy let the question on his mind hang in the air.

"What happened to her?" Merlin offered.

Eggsy nodded.

Merlin propped his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together. He didn't say anything.

"She didn't die, did she?" Eggsy cried, breaking the silence. "Please don't tell me you killed her to become Merlin."

Merlin shook his head. "No, no." He looked at his clasped hands, particularly his left ring finger. "Give me some time to put the words together, then I'll tell you."

**AN: **I haven't decided how I want to stylistically tell Merlin's story. I was experimenting having some of it be exposition and some of it as Merlin was telling Eggsy; both styles worked, but I'm not totally into doing either for the rest of the story. I will try something different next chapter. Let me know if you have any ideas.


	3. Four and Seven

Seven was his code name. Four was hers.

They sat opposite each other in the helicopter that came to pick them up after ten of the fourteen recruits made it to the drop-point. Some were worse off than others, but everyone in that helicopter was secretly relieved that they weren't the ones to be left behind.

"Don't tell me that you got to shag her because you got to the drop-point first," Two shouted into Seven's ear over the roar of the helicopter. Two grinned wolfishly and Seven blushed.

Four leaned over and shouted at Two, "You're going to have to do a lot better than beat me a jungle race for a shag." She winked at Seven. "Like fixing your face, wanker, because it makes me gag."

/

"Let me explain how this works," Arthur said, standing at the balcony and examining the ten recruits. "Whichever one of you survives training will become Kingsman agent Merlin, replacing the beloved man who is retiring from the service."

Old Merlin stood on the balcony with Arthur. "Congratulations on surviving your first mission! But the success of Kingsman is not solely from the skills of its individual agents; success also comes from being able to work as a team. Therefore, each of you will pick a puppy. You will care for this puppy. You will train this puppy. And when this puppy is fully trained, we hope, so will you. Fall out."

Seven nervously approached the pen of puppies. Standing at the edge of the fence, he frowned at the lolling tongues and wagging tails. He had never had a pet and felt at a complete loss on how to take care of one. Seven could solve your engineering equation in a matter of minutes, but this was a whole new level of complexity.

Four, on the other hand, jumped right into the pen and started cooing each of the puppies. They surrounded her and yipped for her attention. After giving each puppy a good pat on the head, she selected the German Shepard.

"Aren't you a beautiful girl?" Four said to the puppy. "Yes you are!" She scratched the puppy behind its ears and scooped it into her arms.

Four looked up to check on Seven; she had developed a fondness for him. Seven was shy, but he was intelligent, strong, and determined. She could see the great man he would become in the way he carried himself that demanded respect. He pulled a serious demeanor, but she knew that underneath it all he was a gentle and loving man.

Seven had developed a fondness for Four for the exact opposite reasons. Four was an extroverted explosion of energy; she was constantly smiling and encouraging others to push themselves. Yet she wasn't afraid to put others in their place if they deserved it.

"What are you going to name him?" Four asked as she walked over to Seven. Seven was looking down at Rottweiler, who was sitting and looking back up at Seven with its head cocked slightly to the right.

"Bletchley."

"Bletchley?" Four laughed. "You're naming your puppy after Bletchley Park? You're such a nerd."

"Thank you," Seven replied. "What did you name yours?"

"Hera. Queen of the Greek Gods, beautiful woman with a terrible vengeance."

/

Seven ran to the laboratory and banged mercilessly on the door. Old Merlin slowly rose from his seat, not having a clue who would be harassing him at this time of day. As soon as the door opened, Seven pushed past Old Merlin and paced around the room. Out of breath, he said, "Something's wrong with Four… Something is very wrong…"

"Fall in!" Old Merlin yelled at the young man. He had never seen the normally reserved and stoic Seven lose composure like this before. "Pull yourself together and tell me what your problem is."

Seven stood at attention. "Four missed training this morning. She always meets me in the morning to practice, but she didn't show up at all."

"Maybe she overslept?"

"Her room is locked and she didn't open up like you did when I banged on the door."

Old Merlin shrugged. "Go to breakfast. Maybe she's not as keen for you as you think."

Seven fumed, but did as he was told.

No one else at breakfast seemed disturbed by Four's absence. It was one of the rare days that the recruits had off. It made sense to them that Four would want to stay in bed for a few extra hours.

"Maybe we should check her room agin? She might be sick," Seven said to two other candidates. There were only four of them left at this point in the training: Two, Four, Seven, and Twelve. Seven was almost sent home after the disaster that was the honey trap mission, but because he had consistently scored higher than Eight, he was allowed to stay.

Seven wouldn't let the nagging sensation leave him. He pestered everyone about it until they finally caved in and agreed to look into the issue.

Old Merlin knocked on the door and announced, "Four you will be sent home if you do not present yourself immediately." But several minutes past and there was no response, so sound coming from within the room. Old Merlin pulled a key from his pocket and opened the door.

Old Merlin looked at Seven. "Looks like Four has opted out of the program." The room was neat and organized. Seven paled; he knew something was wrong because some of her desk pieces were out of place, like they had been knocked over and set back. Four was a creature of precision and habit.

Seven turned to Old Merlin and shared his observation.

Old Merlin frowned back at Seven and said sternly, "If nothing else, let this be a lesson in preventing yourself from falling in love with your peers."

/

Four slowly woke up. She blinked a few times, but everything was still dark around her. She felt around and realized that she had been unceremoniously shoved into an adolescent-sized shipping container. Based on how much her body was cramping, she figured she had been in the container for several hours.

"This must be a test," she said to herself. "How do I get out?"

She tried everything she could think of. Nothing was working and panic started to set in. Four had to keep reminding herself that Kingsman wasn't going to let her die, but the tears fell on their own accord. She started screaming as loud and she could.

"Seven will find me," she heard herself saying. She couldn't help the smile that came with the thought of Seven leaning over the top of the box, pulling her to safety. Their relationship started with them sneaking glances and finding excuses to brush past each other. It evolved to them always choosing each other for partner training, using that as an excuse to touch and hold each other. After a year of training, they had become bold enough to duck into cubby holes for a quick kiss.

When a groundskeeper found Four's dog stuck in a bear trap in the afternoon, everyone knew something was wrong. Seven paced nervously up and down, trying to think who would have wanted to kidnap Four. Old Merlin said that security was as tight as always, so both Four and kidnapper still had to be on the premises.

"What is the one thing Four is afraid of?" Seven asked himself. He knew she didn't like the dark. He also knew that she didn't like tight, enclosed spaces. But he'd seen her successfully complete tasks that involved both. Then it struck Seven. Four could handle her fears separately, but not together.

Seven ran as fast as he could to the hangar; that would be only place where there would be shipping containers the right size to fit a person in. Working as fast as he possibly could, Seven toppled towers of containers and checked each one.

About a third of the way through the entire supply, Seven popped the lid and a devastated Four looked up at him. Her eyes were red and she had dark circles under her eyes. She looked up at Seven pathetically, but didn't say anything because she had kept screaming until her voice gave out. Seven's heart broke, seeing the terror on Four's face. Pulling her into his arms, he repeated, "I'm so sorry," over and over.

/

"Is she going to be okay?" Seven asked.

The medical report indicated that Four had been indeed drugged. She was given some sort of hallucinogen to make her experience her fears more severely than normal. Hera jumped on the bed and lied next to her master.

Galahad nodded. "I believe so." He pulled over a chair and told Seven to sit. "You stay here; Merlin and I have someone to look for."

Seven sat heavily in the chair and covered his face with his hands. He refused to cry, but he was furious. Bletchley placed his head on Seven's knee and Seven absentmindedly scratched Bletchley behind the ears.

Four woke up a few hours later. She was still too exhausted from her ordeal to sit up, but she managed to turn her head. She smiled to herself, seeing Seven holding her hand. Seven was sleeping, pitched forward in his chair with his head resting on the edge of the bed.

"Seven," she croaked. He didn't hear her. She cleared her throat and repeated his name.

Seven looked up, blinking the sleep from his eyes. He smiled at her and she smiled back at him. Then he suddenly frowned. "I'm sorry, Four. I'm sorry going to kill the son of a bitch who did this to you."

Four ignored the comment. "You came for me. I knew you would."

Seven kissed the hand that he was holding. "Of course I would. No matter where you go, I will always find you."

/

"What are you working on?" Four asked. She stood behind Seven and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Seven took a minute to disable the device before setting it down on the table. "Hand grenade. The ones Kingsman have now are too big; I want them to be the size of a lighter, pack a lager punch, but have a controlled explosion."

"Ah," Four said. The first time she had visited Seven in the lab, she attempted to touch of his projects and Seven just about lost his mind. He scolded her for almost an hour about compromising the safety of everyone in Kingsman because she touching things that she had business touching. Four had learned her lesson and kept her hands away from possessive Seven's things.

"When can we test it out?" Four asked

Seven shrugged. "Hopefully sooner than later."

Giggling, Four turned Seven's chair so that he was facing her. She leaned over and gave him a kiss.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Seven said.

"Where's your spirit of adventure?" Four asked. She kissed Seven again.

This time, he responded. Seven grabbed her hips and pulled Four down into his lap. He threaded one hand through her hair and kissed her back.

"A gentleman never snogs in public," a voice stated authoritatively from the doorway. After the bad pranking incident a few months ago, in which both Two and Twelve were found responsible and dishonorably dismissed, Four and Seven gave up any intention at hiding their relationship. No one was surprised because even though no one talked about it, everyone knew it from the very beginning.

Four and Seven jumped to their feet and stood at attention. Four was not ashamed of being caught and she held her head high. Seven was scarlet with embarrassment and stared at the man's shoulder.

"Four, you are dismissed," Galahad said. Galahad was just a few years older than Four and Seven, having received his post four years ago. From what limited interactions they had, Galahad found he quite liked Seven. Seven reminded him of his younger brother and Galahad hoped that Seven would become the next Merlin.

Four whistled for Hera and they trotted out of the laboratory.

"Fall out," Galahad said to Seven.

Seven relaxed his posture.

"Seven, it's not against the rules. But acting on feelings towards a fellow recruit will only complicate things." Galahad placed a hand on Seven's shoulder and gave him a squeeze. "You're a smart man; I won't say anything again on the matter."

Galahad walked over and looked at the hand grenade Seven was working on. "This won't explode if we leave it here for a few hours?" Seven shook his head, still too embarrassed to say anything. "Very good. Seven, if you'd come with me please."

"Come, Bletchley," Seven said as he followed Galahad out of the laboratory.

Galahad took Seven on a long walk.

"Where are we going, Sir?" Seven asked when Galahad suddenly stopped at the edge of the grounds, where the trees started to grow thick.

Galahad turned and offered a gun to Seven. "Shoot the dog."

Seven stared back at Galahad. This had to be some kind of bad joke, some kind of punishment for being caught fraternizing with another recruit.

"Excuse me?" Seven asked. Galahad stared back at Merlin with a blank expression; Galahad knew Seven had heard and understood him perfectly clear.

Seven swallowed the lump in his throat. He reached out and took the gun from Galahad. Seven tightened his fingers around the gun and pointed it at Bletchley. "I'll miss you," Seven said to Bletchley and he pulled the trigger.


	4. Final Test

Seven was on an intelligence gathering assignment in Cambodia as Arthur's squire. After a few days of infiltrating the military bases and stealing documents, Seven found himself standing outside a medium-sized, decrepit warehouse. The Rat Pack had kidnapped a person-of-interest and realized that Kingsman might also want a crack at said person-of-interest.

Frank, a member of the Rat Pack, stood outside the warehouse smoking. Frank was a tall and lanky gentleman, who could be described as a stork with a crooked nose and ears the stuck out. He had messy strawberry blonde hair and freckles all over his face.

"King Arthur and his squire," Frank said with a smirk as Seven and Arthur approached. "Perfect timing. Dean is almost done with his business."

If Arthur or Seven found the joke funny or not, Frank couldn't tell because they didn't make any changes in expression.

As if on cue, a man exited the warehouse and kicked the door shut behind him. "The target is all yours," Dean said, as he rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck. He pulled a handkerchief from his jacket pocket and wiped the blood off his hands. Shoving the soiled handkerchief back into his jacket pocket, Dean held his right hand out to Frank and Frank passed over the cigarette he was smoking.

"I think I broke her jaw, sorry about that," Dean said, breathing out a steady stream of smoke. "She can still mumble things, so you just have to listen carefully."

"That's sufficient," Arthur said. "Good to see you, Dean." The two men bumped elbows because Arthur had no interest in touching Dean's bloodied hands or coming too close to the cigarette.

Dean smiled and gave Arthur and Seven a two-fingered salute. He sauntered away with Frank trotting along beside him. Seven tried to listen to what the Americans were saying to each other, but the heavy drawl of their accents confused him. It also took Seven a lot of self restraint to keep from gagging; Seven didn't understand how the uncouth Rat Pack could ever be related Kingsman except for the fact that they were spy agencies. Seven also didn't understand why they called themselves the Rat Pack. The name was reminiscent of sewer rubbish and foul rodents.

Seven followed Arthur into the dimly lit, empty warehouse. A woman was tied a chair, a cloth bag over her head. She was leaning to one side and her head was tilted back; she postured exhaustion and defeat. Arthur walked forward and lifted the bag from her head.

Seven's heart stopped in his chest. It was a bloody and battered Four. Her left eye was swollen shut, she had a number of cuts across her cheeks, and her jaw was very obviously dislocated. Her normally sleek and pin straight hair clumped in odd patches due to her sweat and blood.

"The Rat Pack had been investigating Cambodia for several months now. When they found her leaking information to the enemy, Dean called us because he thought we would like to excise the parasite."

Seven wanted to round on Arthur and shout that Four wasn't a spy. There was no possible way that the woman he gave his heart to was a spy for the enemy. But Seven's training at Kingsman overrode his instincts and Seven didn't say anything. But Seven was still having a very difficult time keep himself together. His hands were clenched into tight fists, his knuckles turning white. Seven bit down on his tongue to prevent him from saying anything that he would later regret.

Four stared back at the two men, pleading with them for her life with that stare. She mumbled something, but her jaw was too broken to make full words.

"Shoot Four."

Unlike when Galahad told him to shoot Bletchley, Seven didn't hesitate to follow Arthur's orders. He felt his hands move, pull the gun holstered at the small of his back, and aim in one fluid motion. Despite feeling like he was being ripped in half, torn between his love for Four and his desire to be a Kingsman agent, Seven held the gun steady. It was an another effect of his Kingsman training. Four was better than him in general at field work and hand-to-hand combat, but Seven was wickedly intelligent and unnaturally effective and handling guns.

Seven hesitated for a fraction of a second, wondering if Four had been framed. And if she had been framed, by whom? He wanted to run to her, hold her in his arms, and tell her that he would make everything right again. Seven glanced at Arthur, who stood expressionlessly, waiting for Seven to pull the trigger.

Seven closed his eyes and flexed his index finger, not able to look Four in the face as he executed her. The gunshot reverberated to Seven's core and echoed throughout the warehouse. Seven brought his hand to his chest and massaged the area around his heart, which hurt like nothing he had ever felt before. Her body pitched forward and went limp.

"I'll give you a moment," Arthur said. "But don't take too long because we have company." He walked out and left Seven alone.

Seven let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. He shed a few tears and then worked up the courage to approach Four's dead body. He reached out and tilted her chin up to face him. As he wiped away one of the tear stains on her cheek, he noticed that the texture of her skin was odd. Rubbery almost.

Seven reached under the neckline of her shirt and grabbed the edge of the rubber. Pulling, Seven ripped the mask from the woman's face. The woman he thought was Four was actually a Russian terrorist that Kingsman had been tracking for several months. Seven had developed the tracking device they use to monitor her activities.

Seven let the mask fall to the ground. Turning away from the body, Seven retched onto the concrete floor. Seven was not tolerating all the emotions he was feeling well. He was immensely relieved that he didn't actually kill Four, but there was the knowledge that he was capable of killing her if Kingsman asked it of him. But Seven didn't have a lot of time to reflect on his emotions.

There was a burst of gunfire coming from outside the warehouse. The company Arthur had mentioned had arrived. Any emotions Seven were feeling were shoved deep down and replaced with cold, calculating violence. He pulled a second hand gun with his left hand from under his right arm.

Seven crouched and leaned out the open door just enough to get a quick look at the enemies' positions without exposing too much of himself. Seven shot two men at the same time, each man receiving one shot to the head and two shots to the chest. Seven sprung into the melee, clocking another man with the butt of his gun in his right hand before shooting another man once in the head and twice in the chest with his left hand. Rounding back on the man he had clocked, Seven shot him between the eyes with his right hand.

Galahad had once commented how quaint Seven was about his shooting technique: once in the head and twice the chest. Galahad considered it to be a waste of bullets, but Seven insisted that unless you were in close range, you couldn't confirm that your opponent had died. His technique guaranteed no one survived. And Seven never missed, despite shooting with his dominant right or left hand.

Seven ducked a swinging knife arm and came up under the arm, dislocating the shoulder. Seven dropped the gun in his right hand, caught the knife before it fell to the ground, and shoved it into the man's throat. Pulling the knife back out, Seven ignored the blood splattering all over him, pivoted hard to the left, and threw it into the back of a man approaching Arthur. The man with the knife now is his back faltered; Seven shot him once in the back of his head and twice in his back. Seven quickly snatched up the gun he dropped and scanned the area. There was no one left to take out.

Letting out a breath, Seven holstered his guns and ran after Arthur. Before they were attacked, Arthur had used the telephone in the heel of his shoe to contact Galahad to rendezvous with them.

Galahad raised an eyebrow at the blood covering Seven. Sometimes the job required its agents to get dirty, but Galahad somehow felt uncomfortable seeing Seven in his current state. It was a strange sensation seeing shy, gentle, nerdy Seven as a ruthless killing machine.

/

The two young adults stood at the end of the conference table, opposite Arthur. Although they were nervous about this meeting being called, they didn't show an indication of it. After a year and a half of training, it was finally time for them to find out which of them would become the next Kingsman agent. They both knew they were put through the same test, but they didn't speak about it one another; it had changed their relationship in some undefinable way and they accepted that.

"I would like to congratulate you both on the successful completions of your mission. We were able to gather vital intelligence, as well as, administer the final test to become a Kingsman agent. You both were able to complete your missions despite the emotional stresses placed upon you. Therefore, in what will be a onetime exception, I would like to be the first to welcome you both to Kingsman."

Arthur looked at Seven first. "Merlin." Then he turned his gaze to Four. "Viviene."

"Thank you," they replied in unison. They did their best not to look at each other and to keep their expressions blank. But they snuck a glance at each other and when their eyes met, they couldn't kill the smiles.

Arthur shook his head, still not sure whether he approved or disapproved of the situation. "You are dismissed. Report at 1500 for your briefing as new agents."

Viviene and Merlin turned smartly on their heels and walked out of the conference room. They kept completely stoic demeanors until they sat across from each other on the underground tube to the Kingsman headquarters. They burst out into giggles once the tube started moving.

"I can't believe it," Viviene said. She ran a hand through her hair. "Are there little bits of brain leaking out of my ears? It feels like my brain exploded."

Merlin smiled at Viviene. "Lady Viviene, High Priestess of Avalon and Lady of the Lake, what enchantment did you put on Kingsman to make this happen?"

Viviene giggled. "I didn't do anything," she said, leaning across the aisle for a kiss. "I only enchanted you."

Merlin was more than happy to oblige her with a kiss. He kissed her and moved to kneel between her legs, his face turned up to hers, his arms wrapped around her waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck and snogged him until they arrived at the headquarters completely out of breath.

"So…" Viviene spun on her heel as they exited the tube. "We are briefed by the other Merlin, then what?"

"How about a date?" Merlin asked.

Viviene smiled. "What kind of date?"

"A proper one. You were a lovely dress. I wear a bespoke suit. I'll bring you flowers and we go to dinner."

"What time will you be picking me up?"

"Eight o'clock sharp."

Viviene stood up on her tip-toes and kissed Merlin again. "I will see you then."

/

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Lancelot asked. "Not only is it unprecedented for us to create an additional post, their… fraternization is against the Kingsman code of conduct."

"There's a first time for everything?" Gawain shrugged. "Besides, it's not actually against the rules to be in love, even if it's with another Kingsman agent. It's just not recommended."

"This could be a security liability," Lancelot added.

"We created a realistic situation in which they were required to shoot each other, which they did. And they were still able to complete the mission despite being emotionally compromised," Galahad said. "I think it might be a good thing for this stodgy place,"

"You are young and inexperienced yourself, Galahad," Percival said. "Don't be so quick to take their side."

Arthur stood up and nodded at each man sitting around the conference table. "We had discussed this before and now that it is done, there is no more need for discussion. Those two have conducted and proven themselves. For now we will continue to keep a wary eye on them, as we always have."

/

**Present Day**

Merlin emerged from the back wearing a bespoke suit. He was wearing a dark blue and grey plaid suit jacket with matching grey slacks. He wore a soft blue shirt with a dark blue striped tie; in his jacket pocket there was a black polka-dotted, neatly folded pocket square.

Eggsy would have never picked out so many patterns to put together in a single outfit, but it all worked out fantastically. It was sharp, professional, and somehow distinctly Merlin.

Eggsy looked Merlin up and down. "Why you all dressed up for?" he asked. Eggsy examined his own outfit: grey and black varsity jacket, white t-shirt, dark wash jeans, and white sneakers.

"We've almost reached Arlington."

"Arlington?" Eggsy wasn't familiar with American geography.

"Arlington, Virginia," Merlin supplied. "It is the East Coast headquarters for the Rat Pack. We have to prepare for the… reunion, for lack of a better term."

"Why do we need to prepare for the reunion?" Eggsy asked. "Them are not going to be shooting at us. Right?"

Merlin chuckled. "Let's just say my last goodbye with the Rat Pack was not amicable." Merlin lifted his glasses to massage the bridge of his nose. Merlin had let them know he was coming, and he hoped that they still had no intention of beating him to a pulp once he disembarked the jet.


	5. The Lost Operative

**1992**

It was supposed to be a rescue mission. Get in quick; get out quicker.

Merlin and Viviene had been in Russia for two weeks, infiltrating and dismantling an illegal arms dealing ring. For this mission, they were joined by Gawain. Gawain was an elderly, humorous gentleman and although he wasn't the best Kingsman agent, he had been very kind to and supportive of Viviene. Gawain was to act as their undercover operative inside the Kremlin; he had the age and severity to be more convincing that Merlin.

The entire operation had been running smoothly until Gawain was taken hostage. Gawain's cover as a Kremlin official had been blown when Gawain slipped up, his British accent sneaking through just a smidge when talking to the American ambassador.

/

"Ready, Vivi?" Merlin asked. He readjusted himself in the driver's seat of their SUV, a large laptop computer plopped in his lap.

"I love you, Merl," Viviene replied. She climbed out of the SUV and ran through the shadows of the compound.

Viviene was running point; Merlin was tactical support.

"The card in your left check pocket should have all the access codes. After you get in, head right. There are two men standing guard at the end of the hall."

Merlin head the electric door lock softly bleep over his headset. Then the spitting sound of her silenced gun as she took out the two guards with no resistance.

"Go down the hall, and the staircase should be on your left."

Viviene trotted down the hall and up the stairs as quickly as she could.

"You've got company, Vivi," Merlin announced, red dots moving towards Viviene's green dot on his computer screen. "Three men coming up behind you."

Viviene ran to the nearest floor platform and prepared herself for battle. A bullets whizzed past her torso. She leaned slightly over the railing and shot the man in the hand; he dropped his gun. He was halfway to the floor landing. Sliding down the rail, she grabbed his head and rammed her knee straight into his nose. She then kicked him down the stairs into the second man. The second man lost his footing and fell.

The third man was a little further down and had a good shot at Viviene. The bullet grazed her arm, but it was a superficial wound. Viviene shot him in between the eyes.

The second man was back on his feet and was making his way up the stairs towards her. Viviene moved her hand just slightly and shot him in the neck.

Merlin waited, listening to the fight from his post. On their first mission, Merlin was a nervous wreck. But after five years of being in the service, Merlin knew that Viviene could handle herself better than most of the senior Kingsman. The only one who could still best her at hand-to-hand combat on a regular basis was Galahad.

"Two more floors and then you're in the main room," Merlin said as he listened to the fight over his headset.

"Take a right." Merlin waited. "Take a left." Merlin waited. "Other side of the room there's a door. Take than and then the next left. The office is the last one at the end." Merlin waited.

There was a sudden, loud hiss in Merlin's ear and Merlin flinched, momentarily losing his focus on Viviene. He didn't get a chance that she had more company coming for her. When his hearing returned to him, there were sounds of gunshots and hand-to-hand combat over the headset. Merlin heard Viviene grunt as she took a blow to her rib cage and a squeak when she was thrown against the wall. But he also heard the crack of Vivienne landing a solid kick on her opponent's neck.

"Merlin?" Viviene asked, her voice full of concern. "Merlin did I lose you? I heard you groaning."

"Someone is trying to hack our frequency."

"Should I be worried?"

Merlin grinned to himself. "Not at all. You have to remember who designed this system."

Viviene chuckled. Merlin wasn't a man to boast his accomplishments, but even he had to admit sometimes that he was a technology genius. Technology would always be his first and only true love.

Viviene returned her attention back to her mission. She broke down the office door and scanned the room. "He's not here."

"Check the office next door," Merlin said. "I'm getting a signature there. Can't tell if it's friendly; isn't a human operative."

Viviene replaced her magazine clip as she exited the office and rounded on the next one. She tried the door and it was locked. With a sigh, she kicked and kicked at the door just below the knob. When that didn't work, she pulled a small amount of explosive that looked like a stick of chewing gum. She balled it up in her fist and stuck it on the door frame.

She retreated to the other office and ducked as the explosion rocked the foundations of the building. She ran back as the smoke cleared the air.

"Merl…" Viviene paled at the scene in front of her. "Someone took out Gawain," she managed to whisper. Gawain had been hacked into nine, discrete, large chunks. All of his parts were unceremoniously placed in a large bucket filled with Gawain's own blood. The head was in one piece on the top of the pile, the eyes stuck open with little metal picks. In Gawain's mouth was a folded card, which read, "Know he died a painful, terrible death. Let this be a message to burn your soul."

"Vivi?" Merlin asked. "Vivi!"

"Oh, Merl…" Viviene choked out. She wanted to retch all over the floor, but she kept herself together. With a shaking hand, she pocketed the bloody card. Whipping out a small, disposable camera from one of the many pockets on her vest, Viviene snapped photos of the massacre in front of her.

"Is the computer terminal still there?" Merlin asked, making a mental note to talk about whatever she saw later.

Viviene looked around the room. "No." Her eyes fell back on Gawain and she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Alright, then," Merlin replied. "Run down the hall, turn left, and smash through that window. I'll be there to catch you."

Viviene followed Merlin's directions, only stopping for a few minutes to disable four men who were firing at her. She jumped, rebounded off the wall, and wrapped her thighs around the first man's head and squeezed as hard as she could, using the torque of her fall to take him down with her. At the same time, she shot two of the other men. She sprung from her crouch and tackled the last man into the wall. She shot him under the chin.

"On my way out," Viviene said as she shot the glass window a few times to shatter it.

More men were coming down at the hall. She took one glance at them as she threaded her rappelling line around one of the building's vertical support beams and started her way down the twelve stories. She slipped off the edge, the bullets aimed at her barely missing.

A series of gunshots came from behind her. She turned her head to look, without stopping. Standing in their SUV was Merlin, firing a rifle at every man who came into his sights. She heard the familiar triple burst pattern: one to the head and two to the chest. She smiled to herself as she hurried her way down. Steady and loving Merlin, always getting her out of trouble.

Merlin put the SUV in gear and started rolling away from the compound. Viviene ran and jumped into the open back of the SUV. "Rifle?" she asked. She never quite understood Merlin's possessive quirks, but she embraced them.

"Take it," Merlin said.

Vivian swung the rifle round, resting it against her shoulder. She picked guards off as she saw them appear.

/

As soon as they go back to their Russian safe house, Viviene broke out into tears. Merlin pulled her into his arms, holding her steady against him.

"What happened?" Merlin asked softly, pressing his lips to her hair.

Viviene struggled with her emotions. "They killed him. They killed him!" she screamed. "I'm going to kill all of them!" she screamed.

Merlin held her tighter against himself. "Revenge shows pain. Pain shows weakness. We do not show weakness." Viviene glared at Merlin, but didn't say anything back.

Merlin let Viviene ride out her anger. Like Merlin, Viviene could do whatever Kingsman asked of her. She was also like Merlin in the sense that they could flip a switch and become cold-blooded versions of themselves. But that didn't mean she didn't struggle with the emotional consequences after the mission was completed. This understanding between the two of them was part of the reason that they got along so well.

"Be strong, Vivi," Merlin said once she started to calm down.

She chuckled, hiccupping on her tears. "No, Merl. You're the strong one so I don't have to be."

She took a few deep breath and extricated herself from Merlin's arms. She handed over the disposable camera. As Merlin started developing the images, Viviene went for a bath. Merlin looked at the message on the bloody card. He frowned at it, not sure if he mentally ready to see the photos.

/

"What did you find, love?' Viviene asked. She was standing behind Merlin, her arms wrapped around his neck, her head propped on top of his.

Merlin pointed at a name on the screen. "Looks like our American cousin Joey Bishop has also been watching the Russians. But for other reasons."

"Huh?" Viviene asked. Unlike Merlin, she had never worked with the Rat Pack. She knew of their existence in the way one was award of second or third cousins once removed.

"The Russians seem to have some contacts in Nicaragua and Ethiopia; the Americans have been tracking arms trafficking in Nicaragua and Joey traced that ring to ours in Russia. However, these are Americans goods that are being traded. There is a leak in the American system and the Rat Pack is trying to plug it up."

"Let's go to America," Viviene said. "Let's help them finish this business once and for all. Let's get revenge for Gawain." Over the past week, Merlin had done his best to steer Viviene away from the revenge attitude, but she was having none of it.

Merlin shrugged. He would go wherever Viviene wanted. "If that's what you want. I will speak with Arthur tomorrow about transfer orders to… the American branch.'

Viviene giggled. "The Rat Pack."

Merlin rolled his eyes and his tilted is face up towards her so he was looking at her upside down. "Why can't they pick a different name?"

"Not everyone can be a gentleman." Viviene leaned over and kissed Merlin.

/

Viviene disembarked the jet, Merlin following closely behind. She had her award-winning, dazzling smile fixed on her face for the men who had gathered in the hangar to greet their British counterparts.

She reached forward out with a slender hand and said, "I am Viviene. This is my husband Merlin."

The Rat Pack looked from the beautiful, elegant, smiling Viviene to the stern faced, frowning Merlin. They all shared a glance, wondering how Merlin managed to pull a marriage off with this charming woman.

"Oh, and we have Hera and Bletchley." Their two dogs came down the staircase from the jet and sat at their masters' heels. They regarded the Americans curiously, getting used to their peculiar scents and wondering if they had dogs of their own.

"I'm Dean," a man replied, stepping forward to take Viviene's hand. He brought her hand to his lips and Viviene laughed a laugh that matched her smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you," Dean said.

Merlin remembered Dean from their brief encounter in Cambodia. He looked exactly the same; buzz cut brown hair, blue eyes, a face filled with wrinkles after years of hard labor. Dean was wearing a white collared shirt under a motorcycle and distressed jeans with combat boots.

"The pleasure is all mine," Viviene replied.

Dean nodded at Merlin, remembering him as well. "Merlin."

Merlin nodded back. "Dean."


	6. The Reunion

**Present Day**

Dean and Frank were waiting for Merlin in the hangar. The Rat Pack was a smaller group than Kingsman and they had a much higher attrition rate. Dean and Frank were the only two remaining members from Merlin's time with the Rat Pack.

"Frank. Dean," Merlin said, nodding at and shaking hands with each man in turn. However, Dean didn't let go of Merlin's hand.

"I will never forgive you," Dean said, tightening his grip. "For the rest of his life, Sammy blamed himself."

Merlin squeezed back. "And I will never forgive you," Merlin replied coldly, "for sending her on the mission in the first place."

The two men let go of each other's hands. Merlin calmly removed his glasses and slipped them into the breast pocket of his jacket. Then he removed his jacket and hung it over one of the arm rails of the jet's stairs. Turning sharply on his heel, Merlin took a fighting stance.

Dean didn't need a second invitation. Without hesitation, Dean tackled Merlin to the ground. They rolled over each other, struggling to come out on top. Dean was on top first, delivering a solid punch on Merlin's right cheek. Merlin hadn't grappled with anyone in twenty years, but the training never left him. Merlin curled into a ball, placed his feet on Dean's chest, and threw Dean off. Merlin rose to his feet, waiting for Dean to do the same.

Eggys flew down the stairs and looked for an opening to join the fight. Before Eggsy could jump in, a strong hand gripped his shoulder.

"Let them fight it out." Eggsy looked up into the face of the man Merlin addressed as Frank.

Merlin returned to a mental state that he hadn't visited for twenty years: cold, calculating violence filled every thought. Dean, however, was in a fit of rage and became sloppy. Dean charged Merlin, who easily side stepped and threw a punch at Dean's nose. There was a loud crack and Dean's nose leaked blood.

Dean wiped the blood from his face and came at Merlin again. Merlin blocked the ducked one punch, blocked the second punch, and kicked Dean in the stomach. Dean's flashed out and grabbed Merlin's throat, squeezing off the air supply. Merlin tucked into Dean's body, pressing his back against the other man's chest. Merlin reached around, grabbed the hand that was on his throat, and threw Dean over his shoulder onto the ground.

Merlin let out a deep breath, frowning at the groaning man on the floor. Merlin rolled his shoulders and turned to retrieve his jacket.

However, Dean was not done fighting. "Come back and fight me!" Dean shouted. "You son a bitch. You should have gone with her! You fucking piece of shit don't you dare run away this time." Dean kicked Merlin the back of the knee, causing Merlin to stumble forwards. Dean attempted a roundhouse kick, but Merlin blocked it with a raised forearm. Dean came into throw a punch. Merlin leaned back just enough for the punch to miss and grabbed Dean in a choke hold.

Merlin clenched his jaw. "I begged her to stay. But you wanted her to go on that mission. You have no right. None whatsoever. To lecture me about my wife." With each sentence, Merlin punched Dean solidly in the solar plexus. "You have no one to blame for her death. No one except yourself. You made a mistake. And it cost me my wife."

Eggsy knew that Merlin was a highly qualified Kingsman agent. However, watching Merlin fight made him deeply uncomfortable in a way he couldn't explain. It just felt wrong because it didn't feel like the man out there fighting Dean was Merlin any longer. Eggsy never expected for Merlin to have blood lust in his personality.

"We should go," Frank battle said. "Leave them alone to duke twenty years of repressed emotions."

"Don't worry," Frank added when he saw Eggy's concerned expression. "They won't kill each other."

/

**1993**

It was another failed mission to capture the illegal arms supplier. The crooks were always one step ahead, always taunting Viviene with every failed mission.

"Don't let this get personal." Merlin said when she returned to base. "It's already bad enough we're here seeking revenge. But don't let this get personal and make you think you're an incompetent agent."

"How does this not bother you?" she hissed at him.

Merlin frowned at his wife. "After you experience the most difficult thing you will ever experience in your life… Nothing can compare to how terrible that experience was. So no, this doesn't bother me."

"What was the most terrible moment of your life?" She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Merlin.

"The final Kingsman test… When I thought I had shot you." Merlin gave Viviene a pointed look. "Wasn't it the same for you?"

Viviene broke eye contact.

Merlin's mouth went slack. He looked away and buried his hands in his pockets. The shock of the revelation unnerved Merlin, that he wasn't as important to Viviene as she was to him. He turned away from her.

"Merl…" she said softly.

Merlin let out a deep breath and turned around. Vivene's heart broke as she saw the most wounded look she had ever seen on another person. "I need some air," he announced. Merlin pushed past Viviene before she could say anything. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying.

Merlin couldn't exactly say he was surprised. Sure, she loved him with everything that she had; that didn't necessarily mean that all she had to give was enough. And in every relationship, one person always loved the other person more. But rationalizing out why she didn't feel the same about him didn't make him feel any better.

/

**1994**

"You don't need him," Dean said. He was standing on the side of the track, waiting for Viviene as she completed her lap. Hera was running alongside her. Merlin and Bletchley had gone back to the lab to continue working on his telecommunications glasses.

"Of course I need him. He's my husband."

"You are a highly competent field agent. You can complete this mission without him."

Viviene sighed. "It doesn't matter if I'm competent or not; I want Merl on the mission with me." She took a deep breath. "I will only go if he agrees comes with me."

"I'm not asking what you want. I am telling you do what you have to do." Dean met Viviene's angry glare. "Merlin doesn't like being a field agent; don't you see how happy he is in the lab?"

"His lack of interest in the field doesn't make him any less valuable as a Kingsman."

"I didn't say that…" Dean frowned. "What I am saying is that maybe it's time to let him go. Let him be happy in the lab, while you fulfill your obligation to get revenge for Gawain."

"It will break Merl. I will not do that to him." She knew that if she took Dean's assignment, took the unsanctioned hit, then it would break part of her relationship with Merlin. She burned for revenge, but she needed Merlin's steadiness to keep her sane.

"Maybe that's for the best? You two are an effective team, but do you think you are an effective couple? You two are too different at the individual level." Dean sighed. "Merl will heal. But you will not if you go not get your revenge."

Hanging her head, she said, "Okay, I'll go."

Dean clapped her on the shoulder. "I knew you'd understand my reasoning, Vivi." He smiled at her and wandered away, leaving her to her thoughts.

Dean knew it was a cheap shot, using her love for Merlin against her. But it was exactly what he needed to close this mission. He knocked off the linchpin of the arms dealing organization without putting of his agents at jeopardy. In his mind, the Kingsman agents were expendable.

It was what the Kingsman had feared; that their love for each other would cloud their judgments. But they were wrong when they thought that Merlin was the weak link.

/

Dean stuck his head out of the window of his truck. "This is your only chance to nail this guy. We have to go now."

"Don't go," Merlin whispered, holding Viviene's hands in his. "Please don't go." They both knew that she wouldn't be coming back. She would either be killed in action, or she would be disavowed as a Kingsman for taking an unsanctioned hit for personal revenge.

Merlin tightened his grip on Viviene's hands. "I am begging you to stay."

"Come with me," Viviene pleaded with Merlin.

As much as Merlin wanted to follow his heart, his loyalties were still with Kingsman. This was like the final test, where Arthur asked him to shoot Four. And like the final test, Merlin would choose Kingsman over his love for Viviene.

"Just you and me," she said. "We can save the world and live quietly for the rest of our lives. Come with me, Merl, my husband and my love."

Dean honked the truck's horn. "It's now or never. Make up your mind."

Merlin shook his head, let go of Viviene's hands, and took a step back. "I'm sorry, Viviene. I cannot go with you."

She sighed, understanding Merlin's decisions. "I'm sorry, Merlin," she replied. She climbed into the truck, without looking back.

It was then that Merlin decided he would never love again. He shoved as much as could of himself as deep as he could. He became an isolated man, obsessed with his work because it was the only safe outlet for his emotions.

/

**Present Day**

Frank led Eggsy outside. Frank fished a smashed pack of cigarettes and a lighter out from his trouser pocket. He offered a cigarette to Eggsy, but Eggsy declined. Merlin had beaten the habit out of him during training.

Frank chuckled. "That's right. Merly Merlin doesn't approve of smoking."

Eggsy examined Frank. Frank looked older than Merlin, but not by much. Frank was just as tall, but not quite as lanky anymore as he had put on weight with middle age. He still had a crooked nose and ears that stuck out. His hair had turned completely grey and was thinning. He was also losing of his complexion from the years of smoking.

"Merly Merlin?" Eggsy asked. He had never heard anyone call Merlin that before. Eggsy had jokingly called Merlin 'Merl' once and the scathing look he received from Merlin indicated that he should never do so again. When he asked Galahad, Galahad simply replied, "A gentleman does not ask questions he does not need to know the answers for."

Frank nodded. "Merly Merlin... and his beautiful wife Vivi."

Eggsy thought he had misheard Merlin when he said that Dean was responsible for the death of his wife. But Frank confirmed it. Eggsy wondered how many more surprises Merlin could have and struggled with the idea that Merlin had once been married, let alone to another Kingsman agents. And then it suddently made sense why Merlin didn't not want him calling him 'Merl.' It was a painful reminder of what he had lost.

"Well…" Frank said, taking a long drag of his cigarette and blowing out a steady stream of smoke. "They were married for all intents and purposes." He looked up lazily at the clouds. "Loveliest couple I ever knew." He shrugged and took another long drag.

"What's this business between Merlin and Dean?"

"How much has Merlin told you?"

"Probs more 'en I need to know." Eggsy shrugged. "How they met and became Kingsman. 'Bout the Russian mission 'fore they came to America."

Frank nodded, blowing out more smoke. "So you're pretty much caught up. The short version is that Vivi made an unsanctioned hit and Dean enabled her to do it. Merl begged and pleaded with Vivi to stay with him, to go back to London and forget the whole business. But she went on the mission and didn't come home." Frank shook his head and took another long drag. "Merl's now just some stodgy ass hat. Used to be openly gentle and loving, but he's shoved that so far down."

Eggsy attempted to image an openly gentle and loving Merlin. He pictured Merlin working in the lab, Bletchley sitting at his feet. He pictured Viviene walking in with two cups of tea in her hands, Hera keeping pace alongside each other. Eggsy imagined Merlin have an easy going attitude, smiling, and whispering sweet nothings into Viviene's ear.

To Eggy's surprise, it was easier to imagine that he thought.

Frank finished his cigarette and lit another one. "Why is Merly Merlin here?"

Eggsy shrugged. "He's lookin' for Viviene?"

Frank frowned and shook his head. "She died twenty years ago…"

"She didn't," Merlin said, coming outside to stand next to Eggsy. Merlin looked a little worse for the wear, with a black eye and a split lip. But his glasses were unscratched and his clothes were unwrinkled. "You just didn't know she was alive."

"Shut up," Frank said, his mouth hanging open.

Like how he chided Eggsy, Merlin said, "Close your mouth, Frank. We are not crawfish."

"Do you know where she is?"

Merlin shook his head. "She left a package here for me before she left. I never retrieved it, but it will tell us where she is."

"Yeah… it's somewhere," Frank said. "We're the Rat Pack; our course our base is going to be a rat's nest of things we never throw away."

"It's in my desk," Dean said. He had taken a seat next to Frank. Eggsy looked at Dean, who had taken a more severe beating in the face than Merlin. Eggsy could have sworn that the man's nose are more crooked than when he had first seen him.

"It was her last request," Dean said, lighting a cigarette. "I have to honor that, if nothing else." He breathed out smoke. "It has been sitting my desk for twenty years, waiting for you. Because you were so fucking stubborn about coming to pick it up. Got a little too burned by her leaving you."

Merlin tensed, ready to give Dean another beating.

Eggsy put a hand on Merlin's bicep. Over the past few hours, Eggsy had learned so much about the man, about why he was the way he was.

Merlin took a deep breath. "Let's get to it, shall we?'

They walked in silence to Dean's office. Dean pulled open a draw and handed over an envelope. Merlin removed the card from inside the envelope; one side was a photo of the bird merlin and the other side had writing. Merlin couldn't help but smile at the familiar, bold handwriting in blue pen.

_Merlin, my love and my husband, What is your spirit of adventure? Come find me when you are ready. Love, Your wife, Viviene_

Merlin wracked his brain, trying to remember details from twenty years ago. "Do you still have the storage unit in LA?" Merlin asked.

"Of course," Dean replied

"I'm looking for a hideous stuffed bird." Merlin said. "If I remember correctly, I think we left it there."

Frank contorted his face, remembering the bird that Merlin was stalking about. "Why would you want that?"

"It's my hideous stuffed merlin. Viviene thought it was funny, so she bought it."

"What are we waiting for?" Dean asked. "Let's go get it."


	7. The Unsanctioned Hit

**AN: **Sorry for taking so long to update! I couldn't decide where I wanted to take this story, and then I went on a work conference and had no time to write.

**1994**

Viviene slouched in her seat in the back of the truck. She absentmindedly fiddled with the buttons on her pea coat as she stared out of the window. They were driving towards the airport, where they would board one of the Rat Pack's jets and fly to New Mexico.

She scoffed as she realized that she had let Gawain's death burn her soul. Just through the act of seeking revenge, she had let her opponents beat her in a psychological way.

"Having doubts?" Dean asked over the hum of the truck's engine. He looked back at her via the rearview mirror. "Want to go home and back to your husband?"

Viviene continued to stare out the window. "And what if I do?"

"Then you're weaker than I thought."

She shrugged, refusing to let Dean make her angry. "Merl was always the strong one," she replied in a flat tone.

"Now you will have to be the strong one."

"Uh-huh," she replied in the same flat tone. Her eyes fixed on a family having an afternoon picnic in the park. Her heart sank into her stomach, as she realized that there was nothing more she wanted than to have a family with Merlin. Viviene was very satisfied with her life and her involvement with Kingsman, but there was a part of her that wished she could have been normal.

"When all of this is over," she thought to herself, "I'm going to have a family. I'm going to be a real wife and mother."

/

Viviene worked the crowd, drawing all the attention to herself. She smiled brightly, laughed charmingly, and flirted with men and women alike. In the brief trip to New Mexico, she had changed into a diaphanous silk gown that hugged her curves. All eyes were on her, including the target's eyes.

"Good," Sammy said over the comm. "It's working. The target is making his way towards you. Peter can you confirm?"

"Confirmed," Peter replied.

Viviene and Peter were running point, with Sammy as their tactical support. The first step of the mission was easy; Viviene had to seduce the primary engineer who cared for the arms dealer's computer network. The engineer was just a normal man, who was completely removed from all of the behind-the-scenes action. He had no idea that his boss was an arms dealer.

"I had to come over and say hello to the most beautiful woman in the room," the target said, offering Viviene a glass of champagne.

Viviene placed a hand on his arm and giggled. "I'm flattered you think I'm the most beautiful woman in the room."

"It's not flattery if it's true."

She smile grew a little wider. "Well, then," she said coyly, "thank you." She took a sip of her champagne.

/

Viviene did her best not to cringe as she let the target plant kisses on her neck. She sighed softly, forcing herself to relax under his touch. His hands roamed to the zipper of her dress. But before he could start to remove her dress, Viviene pulled his hands down to his waist.

"Allow me," she said, while taking a small step back. Reaching up and behind, Viviene instead pulled the knife hidden in the back of dress. She pressed the point of the blade into the soft tissue under his jaw.

"Passcode?" she asked, applying some pressure.

"Jesus!" the target whined. He held up his hands, not sure what to do. "What the fuck is happening?"

"Give me the passcode." Viviene frowned at the man. "And don't whine."

"Alpha-8-5-6-Delta-3-0-3-Oscar-2-1," the target said slowly after swallowing the lump in his throat. From the frown she had given him, he was fairly certain that she would slit his throat for just sounding like he was whining.

"Did you catch that?" she asked over the comm.

"Confirmed," Sammy replied. There was a slight pause. "I'm in."

Viviene twisted the golden ring she wore on the pinky of her left hand. Another invention of Merlin's; a ring that could discharge high electrical voltage upon contact. "Thank you," she said with a sinister smile. She placed the ring against the man's neck and shocked him into unconsciousness.

"Peter should be coming to your location with an action suit," Sammy said after the man's agonized groans stopped.

"I'm here," Peter announced just a minute later. He handed Viviene a black jumpsuit and a pair of black boots. She peeled the dress from her body and put on her jumpsuit. As she laced her boots, Peter helped to attach all of her weaponry.

"Ready?" Peter asked.

Viviene nodded.

/

Viviene clicked on her hand grenade, which was disguised in the shape of a cigarette lighter. It was yet another of the many weapons developments Merlin had made. She lobbed it at the oncoming men; she and Peter ducked the blast.

Peter jumped to his feet and ran to the room on the left. He was here for the real mission, which was to steal the main network hard drive. Sammy was an efficient and effective computer hacker, but he was not as good as Merlin. He needed time to process the information on the main hard drive.

"There's a signature on the next floor. I believe that's your man, Vivi," Sammy said over the comm. "There are four guards."

Viviene ran down the hall to the stair case. She bolted up the one flight of stairs and reloaded her gun before opening the door just a crack to look out. There were two guards pacing up and down the hallway, with the other two guards standing outside the office.

She flung the door open and shot one guard in the left shoulder, as the pacing pair approached the staircase. She hooked an arm under his wounded shoulder and held his back to her chest, using him as a human shield. He screamed in agony as she applied force to his wound. Aiming her gun over his right shoulder, Viviene shot at the second pacing guard. The two men who were standing outside the office didn't move from their posts, but shot at her. They had shot her shield instead and Viviene had to drop the dead weight.

She ran zig-zag down the hallway, her arm held out in front of her, shooting at the guards. One went down. When she was a few feet away, she ran at the wall and used the wall to propel her higher into the air. She pointed down and shot the final guard in the head.

The office door was unlocked. She simply opened the door.

Her heart skipped a beat. This was the moment that she had been waiting for; this was her chance to exact her revenge for Gawain. The arms dealer turned in his chair and regarded the woman standing in the doorway. The expression on his face indicated that he knew this was going to happen and that he had accepted his fate.

Over the weeks, she had drafted what she wanted to say to the man. Now that she in the moment, the words seemed entirely inadequate. Viviene aimed the gun that was already in her hand and shot the man. She shot him in the same style as Merlin, twice in the chest and once in the head.

Viviene thought that she would feel relieved. She thought that she would feel satisfied and elated; and a small part of her did because this was part of dismantling the illegal arms trade. But mostly what she felt was sadness. She felt a deep sadness at what it had cost her to get her revenge.

"I have made the unsanctioned hit. In doing so, I have violated the Kingsman code and am now disavowed." She re-holstered her gun under her left arm. "It's been a pleasure gentlemen."

Just as she said that, she felt the cool metal of a gun barrel press into the back of her neck. "Good," a familiar voice replied. A hand came up, pulled the ear piece out, and threw it on the ground. Viviene's captor stomped on the earpiece, smashing any communication she had with the Rat Pack.

"What are you doing, Peter?" Viviene asked.

"Since you are no longer under the protection of Kingsman, you are now a token to be traded."

"Traded?"

"There's something I want. I am going to trade you for it."

"Was this part of Dean's plan all along?"

Peter laughed. "No, this has nothing to do with the Rat Pack." He fumbled for something in his pocket. He held out a vial for her to drink. "Like your obsession with the arms dealer, this is my own personal mission." He waved the vial, waiting for her to take it.

Viviene instead elbowed Peter in the gut, spun on her heel, and slapped the gun from his hands. Peter countered with a punch to the left side of her head; she wasn't fast enough to dodge the blow, but she managed to tilt her head enough that the punch didn't make full contact.

Viviene's came up from under him and clocked him in the jaw. With her other hand, she pulled Peter's earpiece out and turned it on. "Sammy, can you hear me?" She was running down the hallway as fast as she could. "Peter has been turned. I need help."

She screamed and fell just as she pulled open the door to the stairs. Unlike the majority of her opponents, Peter was a highly trained field agent. He knew how to aim and fire a gun. Her left thigh throbbed with pain as the bullet pushed into and out of her muscles and bone. Struggling to her feet, Viviene limped down the stairs.

But she wasn't fast enough. Peter shot her again in the hip. She toppled down the stairs to the nearest platform and from the even more excruciating pain, she knew that she had fractured her hip. It would be a long time before she would be able to walk or run again.

Peter stood over her and shook his head. "You couldn't come quietly." Kneeling down, he bound her hands and feet together. Then he tied a gag around her mouth.

/

When Peter turned off his comm, Sammy thought that the signal loss was because of equipment failure. But when lost Viviene's comm signal just a few seconds later, Sammy was certain that it wasn't due to equipment failure.

"Dean!" Sammy called into the back room of the jet. "I've lost both Peter and Viviene. I need you to suit up and head to their location."

"Sammy, can you hear me?" Viviene asked over the comm. She was breathing hard. "Peter has been turned. I need help."

Sammy's jaw dropped. "DEAN!" he shouted. "You need to get in there, stat!"

Dean slowly emerged from the back room, still wearing his regular clothes. Standing over Sammy's shoulder, he lit a cigarette. Sammy finally managed to peel his eyes from the green dot on his computer screen to look up at Dean.

"Why aren't you getting ready?" Sammy shouted.

Dean exhaled smoke. "We're not going to do anything."

"WHAT?"

"Vivi made the hit, and like she said, she is no longer under out protection. What happens to her from here on out is none of our concern."

"You have to be fucking kidding me! Even so, we have to capture our own turned agent."

Dean shook his head. "I had a feeling that we had a mole; I finally now know who." He took another drag of his cigarette. "We Peter go this time. And he will lead us to our next target." Neither man flinched as they listened to their fight and Viviene's screams.

"I can't believe you." But as much as Sammy wanted to help Viviene, he didn't move from his seat. He knew that Dean was right. The Rat Pack did what it could to look after its members, but the Rat Pack had a much higher obligation to protect the American public. Sammy shuddered when he heard Peter say, "You couldn't come quietly."

"What do we tell Merl?" Sammy asked as Viviene's green dot disappeared from the screen. Over the two years that the Kingsman agents had been with the Rat Pack, Sammy had developed a fondness for them. He adored Viviene for the feminine touches she brought to the all-male organization. He idolized Merlin for the intelligence and skill he brought to his work, as well as, for the gentleness and playfulness he showed Sammy when they worked together in the lab.

"Nothing," Dean replied. "We tell him nothing at all." He finished his cigarette and dropped it into the ash tray mounted on the wall next to the computer station. "It is better this way... for all parties involved."

/

**1995**

Even though eight months had passed, Sammy couldn't let what happened to Viviene go; after debating with himself, he finally decided to pick up the phone and dial Merlin. He felt that he owed it to Merlin. He felt that Merlin needed to know the truth of what happened to his wife. Without any greeting or preamble, Sammy told Merlin everything about the mission. His voice trailed off slightly, as he ended the story with Viviene's disappearance with Peter.

"Dean still has a letter for you… We called you three months ago about it. You're going to have to pick it up yourself," Sammy said. "Dean refuses to say what it is, who it's from, and have it forwarded to London."

Merlin hung up without saying a single word.


	8. Depression

**1994**

As soon as the truck disappeared from his sight, Merlin shoved his hands deep into his pockets and fixed his eyes on the ground at his feet. Merlin left the Rat Pack's LA headquarters without speaking to or making eye contact with anyone. He walked briskly back to the house he shared with Viviene.

Merlin opened the front door just enough to let himself squeeze through. He slammed the door shut behind him by letting his back solidly connect with door. Merlin sighed as his knees gave out under him and he slid to the ground.

He pulled his knees up towards his chest and placed his face in his hands. He hoped that if he applied enough pressure to his eyes, he could prevent the tears from falling. He hoped that through sheer will power, he could stop every fiber in his body from hurting.

But he was wrong.

Merlin silently sobbed. The only sound that came from him was the dripping of his tears through his fingers and onto the ground.

Bletchley cautiously approached and prodded Merlin's ear gently with his nose. Merlin, with no energy left in his body, stretched his legs out in front of him and let his arms fall of his side. Bletchley placed his head in Merlin's lap and whined softly, concerned about his master. Merlin had stopped sobbing and his breaths had evened out, but tears kept coming.

Hera came up to snuggle on his left side. It took all the effort he had to lift his arm and drape it around her.

The three of them sat like that for a few hours.

"She's not coming back," Merlin finally choked out to Hera, his voice uneven and hoarse.

Hera whined softly and curled more closely into Merlin's side.

"I know," Merlin replied while scratching her behind the ears. "I'm heartbroken, angry, and devastated, too."

They sat there for another hour.

Merlin's body protested at the stiffness it had developed from not moving. However, Merlin still lacked the energy to move. Crawling on his hands and knees, Merlin slowly made his way to the couch in the living room and climbed onto it. He laid on his back, staring at the ceiling.

Bletchley and Hera sat at the edge of the couch and looked at Merlin, not sure what to do.

/

For the following two days, Merlin laid on the couch and stared at the ceiling. It was safe to look at the ceiling because it was empty; there was nothing up there that would remind him of Viviene and the aching pain in his heart.

He didn't eat. He didn't sleep. He didn't move at all. He just stared at the ceiling, trying to cope with the loss of the only woman who mattered to him. Sometimes he cried, but by the end of the second day, there was no water left in his body to make tears. Bletchley and Hera laid on the ground next to him, too concerned about his well-being to leave him alone.

On the third day, Merlin did, however, work up the will power to let Kingsman know he was coming home… alone. Bletchley knew that Merlin wouldn't be able to take care of himself in this depressed state, so he had dropped Merlin's mobile phone in his lap. Then Bletchley stared at Merlin, pleading with his master to do something. At first Merlin ignored Bletchley, but then realized that it wouldn't be fair to abandon the two dogs in the same way Viviene had abandoned them.

The next morning, Galahad appeared up at Merlin's house unannounced. He knocked, but when Merlin didn't answer, Galahad picked the lock and let himself into the house. Galahad frowned at the younger, dejected Kingsman agent.

It looked as if Merlin had died. He was unusually pale and gaunt. His eyes were rimmed with red from crying, had sunken into his face, and large dark circles were forming under them from the lack of sleep. Merlin also had a rather unpleasant odor about him. His lips had lost their color and his eyes were vacant.

"Merlin?" Galahad asked.

Merlin didn't look away from the ceiling.

Galahad noticed that something profound had changed in Merlin. Merlin seemed more frozen over; not in the cold way he shut out everything when he was channeling violence. Merlin had a deep sadness about him and put up a façade of indifference.

"Bollocks, Merlin," Galahad finally said after waiting for several minutes for Merlin to respond in some way. "I know it's hard, but I'm not going to let you rot on this couch."

Heaving the depressed man in his arms, Galahad carried Merlin to the washroom. Merlin didn't protest as Galahad bathed and groomed him; he just remained a limp pile of muscle and bones.

/

"If you don't feed yourself," Galahad threatened. "I will shove a tube down your throat and pump in food."

Merlin frowned at Galahad, but picked up the spoon. Very slowly, Merlin lifted the spoon to his lips and swallowed the soup that Galahad cooked. Galahad had tried giving Merlin solid food the day before, but after not eating for several days, Merlin wasn't able to keep it down. This only made Merlin depressed and resistant to eating.

Galahad had also realized that Merlin didn't like sleeping in his own bed. It took him a few nights to realize it, but lying on the bed made Merlin acutely aware of the body that was missing, that was supposed to lying next to him. So Galahad had made a nest for sorts for Merlin on the couch.

After a few days of nursing the poor man, Galahad finally got Merlin up and walking around the house, doing simple tasks. However, Merlin still refused to speak to him. He communicated with Galahad with small hand gestures and shrugs.

And Merlin sometimes would stand in the middle of a room and cry. At first, Merlin was embarrassed when Galahad had caught him standing and crying. Merlin did his best to pull himself together, but the pain was too overwhelming. Eventually, Merlin stopped feeling embarrassed because the crying episodes came on so suddenly and frequently. And Galahad had the gentleman graces to turn away and not say anything about it.

/

"Merlin?" Galahad called from the dining room. "What do you want to do with this?" The two men had started to pack up everything in the house. Everything Merlin wouldn't be taking back with him to London was packed into a box.

Emerging from the office to look at what Galahad was referring to, Merlin's heart sank into his stomach. He wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or to cry at the sight of the ugly piece of décor.

Galahad was holding up a stuffed merlin.

Viviene had found the stuffed merlin at a flea market. They were trailing a potential suspect in the arms dealing ring through a flea market on a bright and sunny Saturday morning. It had caught her eye as she passed by the vendor, causing her to stop in her tracks and take a second look. Viviene had found the stuffed merlin so funny that she bought it without bargaining and carried it with her as she continued her mission.

Much to Merlin's dismay, Viviene proudly displayed her find in the middle of the dining room table.

Merlin decided he wanted to cry.

Merlin cried as he tried his best to let go of Viviene. But like her, the one thing he wanted most in life was to be a real husband and father. He had never told her, but Merlin had plans for them beyond being Kingsman agents.

Galahad interpreted this as Merlin didn't want to keep the hideous thing. He carried it into a different room, where he packed it into a box with Viviene's clothes.

/

Merlin and Galahad moved the boxes into one of the many storage units owned by the Rat Pack.

Galahad placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder as they looked at the boxes neatly stacked in the dimly space. It was a disorienting experience for Merlin, seeing a very significant part of life put away into boxes.

"Thank you," Merlin said softly, closing and locking the warehouse door. His voice was weak, hoarse, and unsteady after not being used for a week.

Galahad nodded. "Anything for a friend."

Merlin offered Galahad the barest hint of a smile and Galahad gently squeezed Merlin's shoulder.

/

Merlin stood at one end of the conference table. Arthur sat at the other end. Galahad was standing on Arthur's right.

"I am requesting my removal from active field service," Merlin said in conclusion to his debriefing about his two year adventure in America. "I spent the majority of my time doing tactical planning and weapons development. I have found I quite enjoy that work and believe I will be better able to serve Kingsman pursuing those things."

Arthur clasped his hands on the table. Merlin met Galahad's gaze and the older man frowned slightly. Galahad had hoped that Merlin would start to regain some of his personality after being back in London, being back amongst his family. But Merlin was still emotionally vacant.

"We will still need you to go into the field every so often," Arthur replied. "But we will do our best to fulfill your request." Arthur nodded, dismissing Merlin. "Welcome home, Merlin."

/

Frank sat in the driver's seat, waiting for Dean to finish his mysterious business. Dean didn't say what the drive was for; Dean had simply received a set of coordinates on an Atlanta tourist postcard in the mail five months after the unsanctioned hit and demanded that Frank drive him to their present location.

Dean had opened the body bag and frowned at the contents. Inside was a very pale Peter, with three gunshot wounds – two in the chest and one in the head – and a detached right forearm. Dean lit a cigarette and took a few drags before bending over to pick up the items in Peter's chest pocket. The top card read:

_This will be our secret; my next body bag has your name on it. By the way, I believe you owe me a favor. No matter how much time passes, hold onto this letter for Merlin. Viviene_

Dean debated whether we wanted to tell Sammy if Viviene was still alive; Sammy hadn't been handling the situation well. Now that Sammy knew that Peter was the mole, he was able to re-examine the evidence and see traces of Peter's betrayal. Sammy blamed himself for not noticing sooner. He felt he could have prevented what happened if he had only noticed sooner.

However, Dean wasn't entirely sure if she was being serious about her threat. He decided he didn't want to risk it.

The second item was an envelope, with Merlin's name written in calligraphy on the front in blue pen.

/

**1995**

In the spirit of Viviene, Galahad waltzed into the room and gracefully perched himself on the left side of Merlin's desk. Galahad reached over and opened the top left drawer; he frowned at the now empty drawer. Merlin used to keep chocolates in there for Viviene. After she left, Merlin stopped filling the drawer with chocolates and Galahad had eaten the last of the supply.

"You are not Viviene, nor are you a pretty lady. I am not going to continuously feed you chocolates," Merlin replied. He held out his hand to take the headset from Galahad.

Galahad handed over the headset. It was still rather cumbersome and added an awkward weight to his head, but the headset allowed Merlin to have live visual feed along with standard audio communication. Merlin took the headset from Galahad and plugged it into his computer, downloading the recorded video.

"Right," Galahad purred. "Because we all know chocolate is the way to woo a woman." He smirked at Merlin. Merlin frowned back at Galahad, not particularly amused about being reminded about the disaster that was his honey trap mission almost a decade ago.

Laughing, Galahad slapped Merlin on the shoulder. "Lighten up!"

Merlin didn't respond because he was staring wide-eyed at the screen. Galahad leaned over and looked.

"Vivi?" Galahad asked. He got up and moved to stand behind Merlin, getting a better look at the woman in the background of the image's frame. "I didn't notice she was there."

Merlin didn't say anything.

"I thought she died." Galahad folded his arms across his chest. "That's probably why I didn't notice."

Merlin didn't say anything.

"But what if it is her? When Dean called to tell you that he had a letter for you… maybe that was his way of telling you she was still alive?" It had been five months after Viviene's disappearance that Merlin received that phone call.

Merlin didn't say anything.

"Are you going to look for her? What about re-establish your relationship with the Rat Pack?" Galahad asked. It had been three months after Dean's phone call that Sammy had called to give Merlin the full story about Viviene's disappearance.

Merlin didn't say anything and shook his head.

Galahad pulled a tight frown. "I think you should look for her… Just because someone stumbles and loses their way, it doesn't mean that they're lost forever."

Merlin looked away from the screen and up at Galahad. "Couldn't you say the same about me and Kingsman?" he asked.

Although Merlin was right, Galahad didn't know what to say in response. Galahad has seen the love his parents shared and hadn't been fortunate enough to find the same kind of love. He didn't know how to convince Merlin not to let go of what he was very lucky to have.

Galahad considered the possibility of looking for Viviene on behalf of his heartbroken and emotionally withdrawn friend. But even if he found Viviene, he knew that she wouldn't reach out to Merlin any more than she already had. She knew she had shattered his spirit and would wait however long it took for him to piece himself back together; and when Merlin had done that, she would wait for him to decide that he wanted her back.

/

**2001**

Merlin didn't have any patience left in him. He was having a very rough day and was getting frustrated with the new recruits. They were doing a hand-to-hand combat training; Merlin wielded a medium length dowel and been beating the shit out of the recruits because they weren't as good as they were supposed to be at this point in their training.

"Come on!" he growled at the five recruits who were lying on the ground, holding various body parts and groaning. "Get your arses up!"

Galahad had seen enough. "Merlin," he said calmly. "They have sufficient training for today." Galahad slowly reached out and took the weapon from Merlin's hands. Merlin had that steely and focused look in his eyes, like he was ready to kill someone. "Let's get a cuppa, shall we?"

The lethal expression in Merlin's eyes faded away into his usual, distant one. Leading a dejected Merlin away, Galahad shook his head at the recruits. Although he understood Merlin's frustration at their lack of skill, it would have taken something much more severe for Merlin to lose his temper.

The two men sat next across from each other in the plush armchairs in the backroom of the Kingsman shop. Galahad sat up straight, one leg neatly crossed on top of the other. Merlin slouched over, his elbows propped on his knees.

"What happened?" Galahad asked.

Merlin took a sip of his tea and didn't look up at Galahad. "Hera died today." He paused, noticing his hand was trembling slightly. "You know it's coming, but you are never ready for it. Her health had been steadily declining after Bletchley died seven months ago… After losing both her mother and her partner, she gave up and died from a broken heart."

Merlin had to set his tea down on the small table between him and Galahad. His hands were shaking and Merlin didn't want to spill his tea all over the carpet. "And now I'm alone."

"Vivi is still out there," Galahad offered.

Merlin barked out a harsh laugh. "I am still so furious at her that I'd probably rip her throat out."

"Even after seven years?"

"Probably forever."


	9. Finding Avalon

**Present Day**

"LA is where Hollywood is, 'ight?" Eggsy asked. He was draped across a seat with his feet on the small table in front of him. Eggsy casually watched the two Rat Pack members. Frank was sitting opposite Eggsy, twiddling his thumbs in his lap to fight his cigarette craving. Dean was standing, leaning over a window, and watching the clouds pass by underneath the jet.

"Yes," Merlin curtly replied without looking away from his computer terminal and his fingers continued to deftly dance across the keyboard. Even on a self-declared personal holiday, Merlin couldn't resist checking on the status of Kingsman. "That's correct. It will take us about three hours to get there."

"Why we goin' to LA?"

"Vivi and Merly Merlin lived there for a while," Frank responded for Merlin. Merlin flinched slightly at the sound of the nickname he hated. "At the time, we had a number of Rat Pack operations in Central America. It's easier to get around when based in LA."

"Yah?" Eggsy sat up straight. "Like what kind of operations?"

Frank gave Eggsy a lopsided grin. "Merly Merlin got into lots of trouble back in the day." He threw his head back and laughed. "Inventing crazy shit that broke more often than worked." Eggsy's eyes widened and the young man leaned forward, very interested in getting juicy gossip about his stone-faced tactician.

Frank entertained Eggsy for the duration of the flight with his favorite stories about Merlin and Viviene. Towards the end, Dean told a few stories of his own. It felt good to the two men, to remember some of the best times of their youth; it was good to remember that joining the Rat Pack wasn't a straight slingshot to Hell.

"I dunno," Eggsy mused. "What changed, guv?" he asked Merlin.

"What do you mean?" Merlin had not looked away from his work on the computer terminal for the entire flight. But that didn't mean he hadn't been listening to the stories and even smiling under his bland expression.

"Why now you lookin' for Viviene? She sounds perf; why not sooner?"

Merlin felt three pairs of curious eyes on him. It was a valid question and one he hadn't stopped to think about. He simply had that strange dream about Viviene and sprang into action. Merlin closed his eyes and folded his arms across his chest, thinking. He thought really hard about it for a few minutes.

"I lost Galahad," Merlin quietly replied. He pushed his glasses back up his nose with two fingers. "Harry was the only friend I made in all my time with Kingsman. When he…" Merlin gesticulated, not wanted to say the words of what happened in Kentucky, "I was reminded that some relationships are too precious to forgo out of resentment."

Dean placed hand on Merlin's shoulder and gently squeezed. "As much as it pains me to admit it, we did miss you when you left."

/

Frank tried to jiggle the key into the lock for three minutes. With a frustrated grunt, he angrily tossed the key at Dean, who caught it with the hand that wasn't holding the cigarette.

"That's the wrong key," Dean sighed, finishing his cigarette. He threw his cigarette on the ground and snubbed it out with the toe of his boot. "Fucking idiot."

Frank rolled his eyes. "What do you mean it's the wrong key? It was the only fucking key in the box!"

"You probably were looking in the wrong box."

Merlin was just about ready to knock both Americans upside the head. "Why didn't you check to make sure it was right key before we left?" he growled.

"Hey, you shut up," Frank spat.

"Now what?" Dean asked. "We break down the door?"

"I got this," Eggsy piped in. Before any of the older men could reply, Eggsy slipped away and sauntered smoothly into the main office.

"Hello, luv," he said to the young woman standing behind the counter. She was definitely not excited to be at work, but she needed the money to get through school.

"My uncle rented a unit 'ere 'bout twenty years ago. He's old and stuff, so he didn't bring the right key. We're from outta town and can't go get it. Do ya think ya can help me out?"

The woman smiled at Eggsy. "Sure thing. What's his name?"

"Dean Martin."

The woman was young enough that she didn't recognize the cultural significance of the name. She tapped her fingers on the countertop, waiting for her computer to search for a match. "We live in the 21st century," she whined. "And this place can't update their computers."

Eggsy made a sympathetic smile and replied, "Tell me 'bout it. Everything should be on ya mobile phone." The young woman giggled, agreeing completely with Eggsy.

"Ah!" the young woman exclaimed. "His unit is number 307. You said he lost his key?"

"Brought the wrong key." Eggsy shook his head. "He's a senile pack rat."

She reached under the counter and pulled out a key. "This is the master key for all the 300s. I can let you borrow it if you promise to bring it back."

"Deal." Eggsy took the key from her, letting their fingers brush. He winked as he walked out of the office and he didn't have to look at her to know she was blushing scarlet.

Eggsy rejoined the three men who resorted to glaring at each other in silence. Eggsy lightly tossed the key to Merlin. "You're welcome."

/

A giant wave of dust billowed out as Merlin pulled open the door that had stiffened with time. Merlin coughed and swatted at the air to dissipate the dust. He felt along the wall for a light switch and flicked it on.

Merlin frowned at the mess of boxes in the storage unit. There was no possible way that he and Galahad had left the boxes in such an unorganized state. Someone else, most likely Viviene, had come by and moved things around to collect her personal belongings.

However, it didn't take long for them to find the stuffed Merlin. Each man started in one corner of the storage unit and worked inwards. As they went, they moved the boxes into the truck to be donated. Even though Merlin had made his peace with the Rat Pack, he didn't want another reason for him to come back here.

"You should sell this shit to an antiques dealer," Eggsy commented, lifting a beautiful porcelain vase from one of the boxes he was sifting through. "You can retire out of Kingsman and rot away onna pretty coast."

"I have no interest in rotting away," Merlin replied.

"I found it!" Dean said, lifting the bird from the pile of clothes that protected it. Dean shook his head at the stuffed bird, as he also found the thing as repulsive as Merlin did.

Merlin held the bird at arm's length. He squinted at the hideous thing; over the years, it had lost a number of feathers and some of its color. Even so, he blinked rapidly twice in succession, to take a picture of the stuffed bird with his glasses.

_For record-keeping purposes_, Merlin justified to himself as he turned the stuffed animal, to look at it from behind. He noticed a rolled up piece of paper in the merlin's curled talons.

Merlin removed the paper and handed the merlin to Eggsy to hold. Merlin unrolled the paper and read aloud the two numbers, 52.2050N and 0.1190E, written there in Viviene's handwriting in blue ink.

A map was displayed on his glasses, the region for coordinates highlighted in a pale green.

/

**1993**

"What do you think we would have been doing right now if we weren't Kingsman?" Viviene asked. She absently traced patterns on Merlin's bare chest as they laid in bed together. It was their first night in their new house.

Merlin shrugged. "I'd probably be a professor at some engineering college. It was what I was doing before I was recruited." He turned his head to admire the beautiful woman curled into his side. "What about you?"

"Falconry," she responded with a large smile.

"Be serious, Vivi."

"I am serious! I'd train birds of prey how to hunt." She sat up and looked at Merlin. "I'd get a few falcons, a few hawks, and maybe a merlin. I already trained one; how hard could it be?" She leaned over and gave Merlin a kiss.

Merlin laughed and rolled so that she was lying on her back with him on top of her. He propped himself up on his elbows. Merlin kissed her in a line from the soft spot behind her earlobe down to the hollow of her collarbone. He then moved back to kiss her on the lips.

"Do you think we would have been married?" Viviene asked in between Merlin's kisses.

Merlin paused. "Do you want to get married?"

"I like the idea of it."

"You want to be the Mrs. to my Mr. Alexander Winchester?"

"Is that your real name?" she asked.

Merlin nodded slowly, worried that she didn't like it. It was amazingly intimate and vulnerable, the simple act of Merlin finally revealing who he was before he was dubbed Merlin. In all the years they had known each other, they never shared what their real names were. No one, except Gawain who had recruited him, knew Merlin's real name. He swallowed a lump in his throat.

"Mrs. Evelyn Matteson Winchester," Viviene breathed, trying the name on her tongue.

Merlin thought his heart was going to explode from his chest just from how hard and fast it was beating. He loved the sound of it, the sound of her real name mashed with his. He loved that she had trusted him with her real name, as did with her.

Viviene repeated her prospective name a few times, changing the inflection of her voice each time. After settling on an inflection she liked, she smiled at Merlin. "After all of this done, let's get married." She ran her hand through Merlin's hair. "We'll retire out of the service, get married, have a few kids… Where would we live?"

Merlin shrugged. "Anywhere you want. You know I'd follow you anywhere."

"I know," she replied. "You already have." She clasped her hands around Merlin's neck and let her arms hang in the air. "Where did you grow up?"

"The Scottish Highlands. Absolutely beautiful, but rather isolated."

"Were you happy?" she asked.

Merlin thought about it. "Yes, I was quite happy. But I was a reclusive, reserved child who always had his nose buried in books. Our children will be miserable if they are born with your personality and my looks." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Viviene giggled. "I grew up in Cambridge. I had a wonderful childhood there and I wouldn't mind going back. You could also be an engineering professor at the university. How about that?"

"You can't really do falconry in Cambridge."

Viviene giggled again. "I'll work something out."

Merlin lowered himself and gave Viviene a deep, passionate kiss; his hands roamed across the curves of her body and she positively responded. He was so thrilled about the idea of having a normal life that his heart was about to burst with joy. "Knowing you, you definitely will."

/

**Present Day**

Merlin thought he was going to be sick. His bottom of his stomach dropped and his head started spinning.

"Cambridge," Merlin whispered. Merlin covered his mouth with his hand and willed himself not to lose composure. For the past few decades, Viviene had been waiting for him in England and he chose to never find out.

"Merlin?" Eggsy asked. "You gonna be a'ight?"

Merlin pivoted hard on his heels and pushed past Eggsy to get outside. However, because there was no shrubbery around, Merlin just bent forward and retched into the street. Eggsy came out and gently rubbed Merlin's back as the older gentleman retched again.

Merlin fumbled for the handkerchief in his pocket and wiped his mouth.

"What is it?" Dean asked, stepping up to Merlin's other side. He regarded the vomit with a detached interest because he didn't want to look Merlin in the face.

"She has been living in Cambridge."

"Fuck!" Frank said. "She's literally your fucking neighbor and you had no idea." He scoffed.

"You don't need to rub it in," Merlin replied testily.

"So what now?" Frank asked.

"We finish clearing out this warehouse and I go find Avalon."


	10. Youth

**AN**: This chapter is a bit of a non sequitur, but I really wanted to write something about adolescent Merlin. This chapter will probably also be my penultimate chapter, so if you have _ANY_ lingering questions, please comment so I make sure to address them.

**1969**

"Are you sure he's okay?" Mrs. Winchester calmly asked. "He's almost five and still hasn't spoken a single word. He will play with other children, but he prefers to spend his time alone looking at his father's mathematics books."

Mrs. Winchester was a beautiful woman, inside and out. She had bright green eyes and flowing golden locks. Her heart was also made of gold, to match the color of her hair. Alex had been told on multiple occasions that he inherited his mother's bright eyes and kind smile. However, due to an unfortunate miscarriage the year before, Alex was the Winchester's only child.

Alex sat on the edge of the examination table, looking back and forth between his mother and the doctor. He idly swung his legs, wondering how much longer the appointment would take. He was anxious to get home and back to building a model car based off a picture he saw in one of his father's books.

"We've done all the test we possibly can do," the doctor replied. "There's nothing wrong with your lad. If anything, little Alex is a genius because he has significantly higher neural activity than any child his age. Even more than most teens."

"Then why hasn't he spoken to us?" Mrs. Winchester reached out and took her son's hands in hers. Alex gave her hands a little squeeze, the way his father would whenever she was distressed.

The doctor shrugged. "Only Alex can tell us that." He offered a slight smile at Mrs. Winchester, but quickly killed it when her frown deepened. Alex thought the irony in the doctor's statement was funny and chuckled.

Hearing Alex's chuckle, the doctor added, "My best guess is that he just might be shy."

/

"Computer," Alex said. He offered his father an electronics catalog; he had circled in pencil the model that he wanted.

"What was that, dear?" Mr. Winchester asked without looking up from his newspaper.

"Computer," Alex replied, a little louder. "I would like a computer, please, Father."

Mr. Winchester tossed his newspaper aside and moved from his armchair to kneel next to his son. He had assumed that the soft, high-pitched voice was his wife and not his son. His eyes were wide in total and utter shock; this was the first time Alex had spoken to anyone, let alone in full sentences. Although he was not as expressive about his concern as his wife, Mr. Winchester was just as concerned about their son's abnormal lack of speech.

Mr. Winchester gently took the electronics catalog from Alex and saw the model that was circled.

"Computers are very expensive," Mr. Winchester said. "Are you sure you want this one?"

Alex nodded.

A wide smile came across Mr. Winchester's features. "By all means," he said, "Let's get you one straight away." He knew that he wouldn't have to consult his wife about the matter. He knew that if computers, electronics, and gadgetry were the things that would get Alex to open up and interact with the world, however limited that interaction may be, then they were going to nurture Alex's interests.

Mr. Winchester stood up, returned the electronics catalog to his son, and offered his right hand. Alex grabbed the catalog with his right hand and placed his small left hand in his father's.

"Why do you want a computer?" Mr. Winchester asked.

Alex had the biggest grin on his face as they made their way to the car, but didn't respond to his father's question. It wasn't until after they had driven to town and placed their order for the computer that Alex spoke again to his father. "I would like a computer because…"

Mr. Winchester was on the verge of weeping with happiness, listening to his son clearly articulate reasons why he wanted that particular computer model.

/

**1973**

Alex stood expressionlessly in the back corner of the office, gently pressing an ice pack to his left eye. There was some blood on the front of his jumper from when he was punched in the nose, but besides that, Alex's clothes were immaculate.

Even though he was being expelled from school, Alex was privately very proud of his device and of the way he held his composure during the fight. He was proud of himself for standing his ground and making a statement, for remaining calm and calculating each move precisely.

Mr. and Mrs. Winchester were seated in the two chairs opposite the headmaster of the boarding school. On the headmaster's desk was what looked like a police baton with wires wrapped around it. The wires were connected to a battery-powered switch box at the base.

Mr. Winchester cleared his throat. "You are expelling our son from school because…"

The headmaster sighed, having already told the story four times. Three times for each set of parents for the other boys involved in the incident and once for the Winchesters. "Your son, Alex," the headmaster stated irritably, "attacked three other boys at this school with this…" he waved his hands at the device on his desk. "What did you call this, Alex?"

"A stun-stick neuroscrambler," Alex replied flatly. "It's a rod that is electrically wired to deliver 50 volts when in contact with another body."

"Yes," continued the headmaster. "Your son sent two boys to hospital with his... contraption. We do not tolerate violence at this school. The third boy only has a broken nose and a sprained wrist, thankfully."

Mrs. Winchester howled with laughter. "What is this nonsense? You believe it is okay for other boys to bully Alex because he prefers books over sports and because he prefers silence over idle chatter. And when Alex finally takes matters into his own hands, you expel him?"

"But this is not the first incident," the headmaster replied. "Alex gets into fights regularly at school."

"He doesn't start those fights," Mr. Winchester said.

"Because you do nothing to remedy his situation!" Mrs. Winchester shouted. "Alex, please tell the headmaster why you did what you did."

"The bullying reached a point I could no longer tolerate," Alex replied. "I understand that it is normal to be called names and have pebbles thrown at you and have your things be stolen. But once they stated shoving me around, I knew I had to stop the bulling. In order to do that, I had to prove that I was so far beyond their fighting capabilities that bullying me would no longer be a feasible option. Therefore, I developed a weapon that would allow me to easily incapacitate my opponents. The voltage range on the stun-stick neuroscrambler is far below what will harm the human body; what I failed to calculate was my own physical strength."

"Listen to your son," the headmaster said. "He feels no remorse. He's a robot."

Alex flinched. When the other children at the boarding school realized that Alex was gifted at mathematics, they started calling him "Robot" and making squeaking noises. They believed that Alex was a robot, instead of a human child, and did everything in their power to constantly remind Alex of their beliefs. They justified throwing pebbles at Alex because they knew robots couldn't feel pain since they were made with metal parts.

"How dare you," Mrs. Winchester hissed. Her hands were shaking with how furious she was. "How. Dare. You. Call. Our. Son. A. Robot." She rose to her feet and her husband followed suit. They exited the office. Alex followed them out, still expressionless.

"You can't go around zapping your peers," Mr. Winchester said, placing a hand on his son's shoulder once the family reached the car. "But I am rather chuffed with what you managed to do." He offered his son a warm smile. "We will hire you a private tutor. And when it's time, which we don't expect will be long, we send you to university."

/

**1985**

Gawain chuckled at the modified clock hanging on Alex's office door. Instead of numbers arranged around the clock face, Alex had written in locations where he could be found. The long hand was currently pointed to "automotive shop."

Gawain stood outside the warehouse and looked through the large glass windows for a moment, examining the young man with his shirt sleeves rolled up and his arms elbow-deep into some type of engine. Despite the grease on his forearms, Alex's white shirt was perfect clean. Gawain couldn't help the smile at the sight of Alex's red tie being tucked into his trousers with his shirt, to keep the article from flapping all over the place.

Alex was so immersed with his work he made no indication that he noticed the man who was watching him.

Gawain casually strolled into the warehouse and looked at the blueprints Alex had taped down to the table. He chuckled at the sight of the meticulous, precise handwriting in all capital letters. Even if Gawain hadn't created the dossier on the young man, Gawain knew that Alex's handwriting was very indicative of his personality.

As Gawain reached out to smooth out the blueprints, Alex called out, "Please don't touch anything!" So Alex had noticed him, without breaking his concentration on his work.

Alex finished screwing in the bolt on his engine and came around to stand in front of the man. He pushed his safety goggles up onto his forehead with his wrists and offered Gawain a smile. "I would shake your hand, sir, but I'm rather dirty."

Gawain returned the young man's smile. "What are you working on?"

"A six-speed manual transmission, sir," Alex replied. "When the Americans announced the Corvette and the speeds she could achieve, I knew I had to beat it."

Gawain nodded. "I'm actually here to present you with a unique job opportunity."

Alex walked over to the sink and started scrubbing off the grease the covered his forearms. "May I offer you a cup of tea? We can head back to my office and discuss this opportunity, if you would like."

"I'm fine, thank you. And we can discuss here."

Rather than responding, Alex waited for Gawain to continue. Even though Alex had significantly improved his ability to interact with others, he still didn't say much. Alex had an infinite amount of patience.

"My name is Kevin McAllister. I work for Kingsman, an independent international intelligence agency operating at the highest level of discretion. I have spent some time examining your work and believe that you would make an excellent candidate for Kingsman; I also believe that you will find working at Kingsman to be a much more fulfilling career than being an engineering professor. Are you interested?"

Alex mulled over the possibility of being part of the unique organization. He dried his hands and took a few sips of the cold tea that he had on the table next to his blueprints. Alex was enthralled with the idea of pushing the boundaries of what he could achieve while also helping his country.

"What about my parents?" Alex asked.

"They will be informed of your decision, should you decide to join. You will be able to visit them, on occasion."

"That's not what I meant," Alex replied.

"What did you mean?"

"Will my joining Kingsman have any risk of placing them in danger?"

Gawain shook his head. "They will never truly know what it is that you do and there will always be some small risk. But Kingsman in itself is a family; we all will keep your parents safe."

Alex nodded, satisfied with the answer. "When is my job interview?"


	11. New Beginnings

After arriving back in London, Merlin did not go straight to Cambridge. He instead went straight to his lab and back to work, filling out forms and acting as tactical support on missions.

Eggsy crossed his arms, slightly confused by Merlin's behavior. He thought Merlin would be chomping at the bit to reunite with Viviene. Eggsy had noticed that Merlin was slightly anxious, by the way he would repeat a particular pattern when tapping his fingers on his thigh on the flights back to Arlington to drop off the Rat Pack and to London.

"Why do you think he's avoiding Cambridge?" Eggsy asked. He was draped over an armchair, watching a random program on the telly and petting JB.

It had been three days since they arrived back in London. As soon as they landed, Eggsy had briefed Roxy on everything that he had learned about Merlin over their trip. And he took a long nap to recover his jetlag.

Roxy looked up from her book at Eggsy. "Maybe he's scared."

"Scared?" Eggsy guffawed. "What do Merlin got to be scared 'bout?"

Roxy sighed. "You say Viviene is the one woman Merlin ever loved. They've been apart for twenty years; maybe Merlin's scared that he won't love the woman she turned out to be after all this time."

Eggsy turned his attention back to the telly because the commercial break was over. "You think we should do some'ing?" he asked during the next commercial break.

"What's the point of asking me?" Roxy smirked at Eggsy. "You already have your mind made up. What's the plan?"

"There's no need for a plan," Merlin announced from the doorway. He was wearing more casual Kingsman attire: a three-piece brown tweed suit with a white shirt and a brown plaid tie.

Eggsy's and Roxy's mouths dropped open at the sight of Merlin. They had grown so accustomed to him wearing jumpers that to see him anything else, let alone a bespoke Kingsman suit, stunned them.

"Seriously," Merlin said, folding his arms across his chest, "how many times do I have to tell you to close your mouths? You are not crawfish."

Eggsy grinned at Merlin. "Lookin' good Merly Merlin."

Merlin returned Eggsy's grin. "Feelin' good, Eggsy." Merlin unfolded his arms and slipped his hands into his pockets. "I needed a few days to collect myself. And I figured I would invite you to join me, rather than have you pop up in the backseat of my car."

"Yah comin' Rox?" Eggsy asked.

Roxy nodded. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

/

"Huh," Merlin mumbled as he stood on the sidewalk, looking up at the sign for the veterinarian clinic. The significance of the name, Merlin's Veterinarian Clinic, was not lost on him. Nor was the significance of the logo, a German shepherd and a Rottweiler wearing matching garish magician hats, lost on him.

"Cold feet?" Eggsy asked, gently nudging Merlin in the ribs.

"No, no…" Merlin mumbled in response. "It's just… I don't know what I'm feeling."

Roxy placed a comforting hand on the older man's shoulder, but didn't say anything.

"I didn't do any research," Merlin admitted as he continued to look at the sign. The only information he knew was the information that was readily provided to him on his glasses: the business' location, phone number, and hours of operation. "I was worried I would convince myself not to come if I looked in too much." He swallowed a lump in his throat and adjusted his tie. "I'm both excited and terrified at the same time."

"You're a Kingsman," Eggsy said optimistically. "What's the worst that can happen?"

Merlin comically raised an eyebrow at Eggsy. Eggsy did have a point, but it was still a ridiculous statement to make and Merlin was acutely aware of Murphy's Law.

With Eggsy and Roxy following close behind, Merlin walked into the clinic. He took in his surroundings, which were very typical of a veterinarian clinic. He then noticed the diplomas hanging on the wall behind the receptionist's desk.

_The University of Cambridge_

_Upon recommendation of the faculty of the Department of Veterinary Science _

_Hereby confer upon Evelyn Matteson Winchester_

_The degree of Doctor of Veterinary Medicine_

Merlin's eyes were riveted to the name written in the diploma. _Evelyn Matteson Winchester_. Merlin couldn't say he was totally surprised to see that particular name hanging on the wall, but his thoughts still came to a grinding halt when he saw it.

_Evelyn Matteson Winchester_.

It was everything he ever wanted and didn't have, right in front of his eyes.

A young woman, about fourteen, emerged from the back jangling a set of keys. She was startled to see the stern-faced man and two young persons standing in the lobby. "C-can I help you?" she asked nervously. "The office is c-closed right now."

Merlin stared at the young woman. He felt like he couldn't breathe. His mouth dropped open.

The young woman looked almost exactly like Viviene. The young woman's eyes were a little larger and green, and the nose was different. But she had the same slim frame, high cheekbones, and her hair was done up in the same style Viviene favored. She had the same lips as Viviene and the same perpetual half-smile. The young woman even wore the custom-made lapis lazuli jewelry set that Merlin have given Viviene on their fifth anniversary.

She frowned back at Merlin. She thought she recognized him, but couldn't think from where or from what.

Merlin moved his lips to say something, but no sounds came out. He closed and re-opened his mouth to try saying something again. And again, no sounds came out.

"We're looking for Dr. Winchester," Eggsy said on behalf of his stunned friend. He offered the young woman his most charming smile and she couldn't help giving Eggsy a small smile back. "He's an old friend of hers," Eggsy continued.

Suddenly, the young woman gasped and almost dropped her keys. She remembered where she had seen Merlin's face before; it looked different because it had changed with time and he was now bald, but the main features were still the same.

"Mum?" she called. "Mum!"

The sound of the young woman's voice jolted Merlin back to the present. He glanced at Roxy, his instincts screaming at him to run as fast and as far as he could because this had to be some kind of sick joke. Roxy gave him an encouraging nod.

"What is it?" a voice called back.

Merlin's heart skipped a beat. He knew that voice; it was a voice that had lived inside his head for more than half his lifetime. Merlin massaged his left upper chest in an attempt to relieve the pain that he suddenly felt there. Merlin faced down the apocalypse on a regular basis with all the nonchalance in the world; but his head was spinning now that the moment had arrived for him to reconnect with Viviene.

"Your magician has appeared," the young woman replied.

/

Merlin and Viviene stared at each other. After twenty years of being separating and carrying on with their lives, they didn't know where to start the conversation. Eggsy opened his mouth to break the silence, but Roxy swiftly clapped her hands over it.

Merlin and Viviene looked each other up and down. Viviene looked more or less the same; she had aged very gracefully. Her hair was mostly silvery grey with streaks of black and she wore her hair loose, letting it frame her face in a soft manner. She had a thin scar that curved around her right eye, as if someone had tried to cut the entire socket from her face. Viviene, however, still possessed that very regal quality with a hint of youthful mischievousness about her.

She was more beautiful than Merlin had expected she would be.

Finally, Viviene turned and headed back towards her office. She made a motion with her hand and Merlin silently follower her.

"You're a vet," Merlin said, finally breaking the silence as they sat in the two chairs normally reserved for her clients. He mentally kicked himself for stating the obvious, but he didn't know what else to say.

"As you pointed out long ago, falconry isn't exactly a good business venture in Cambridge." She shrugged. "After the unsanctioned hit and doing a few freelance wet jobs, I returned here and went to veterinary school."

Viviene didn't say more, knowing how hard it was for Merlin to find words sometimes. But she knew that he would say what he needed to say when he was ready. Besides, it was harder for Merlin to absorb what happened in Viviene's civilian life than it was for Viviene to absorb what happened in Kingsman Merlin's life. This was mostly because Viviene was familiar with Kingsman and knew Merlin held a steady course.

Merlin's eyes roamed around Viviene's office. His eyes fell on a framed photo behind Viviene's desk; it was a photo of her and her daughter on holiday on the coast.

"You also have a… daughter," Merlin finally managed to say.

Viviene nodded and gave Merlin a wry smile. "I bet you can guess what her name is."

"You didn't."

"I did."

"That's just cruel."

Viviene leaned forward and whispered, "But you can't say you're surprised."

Merlin shook his head and rolled his eyes. Now that they had made their first attempt at banter, they could finally begin to find their way back to each other.

Viviene brought a hand on her mouth to cover her giggles.

Merlin burst out in laughter. He remembered how much he loved the sound of her bubbly giggles.

"Alexandra could easily be your daughter," Viviene continued once she and Merlin regained composure. "She takes after your personality in several ways."

"Kingsman material?"

"Most definitely."

"How old is she?"

"Sixteen."

"And what about your husband?" A serious tone had returned to Merlin's voice.

"Divorced."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was a bad marriage." Viviene offered a weak smile to Merlin. "I want you to know I loved you and only you. I still only love you. I only married and had a daughter out of obligation to my parents." She reached across the small space between them and offered her hand.

Merlin took it. He relished in the feeling of her strong, firm, lithe fingers entwined with him. Their hands still fit together perfectly.

"Not matter what, I will always be yours," she said.

Then Merlin noticed the black-and-white, framed photo of him, her, and Galahad hidden in the corner. It was the first and last photo that they had ever taken together. The photo was taken after their first mission together, which was an absolute success. They were celebrating the feeling of being masters of the universe; they were smiling in a way they had never smiled since Viviene left Kingsman.

"How much does your daughter know? About us?" Merlin asked.

Viviene shook her head. "Alexandra knows nothing about my involvement with Kingsman. She does know I had history with you, a man I nicknamed Merlin and never stopped loving." Viviene chuckled. "She finds it super romantic I'm still waiting for you to come back to me. And she knows Harry Hart was our mutual best friend."

Viviene regarded Merlin's bald held. "Is that for Galahad, by the way?" She wondered if Merlin had shaved his head in grief for losing his best friend of many decades. "We stayed friends, albeit very distant ones," she supplied when Merlin raised an eyebrow, wondering how she knew. "He only called on the holidays and Alexandra's birthday. But when he stopped… I assumed something had happened to him."

Merlin shook his head. "No. Did this when I lost Hera." He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "I've kept it this way ever since."

They sat in silence for a long while, gripping each other's hands tightly.

"The scar?" Merlin asked.

"From Peter."

Merlin nodded, but didn't ask questions. He was curious about what happened to her, but he didn't want to talk about it just yet. He had gotten part of the story from Dean and Frank, but he knew he wasn't ready to hear her side of it.

"You found me," she said after another long silence. "After twenty years, I was starting to lose hope."

Merlin brought her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. "No matter where you go, I will always find you," Merlin replied.

"For someone as good as you, twenty years is a long time."

Merlin scoffed and shook his head. "I was so depressed and miserable when you left. And then I was furious for years. I felt so betrayed by you. Harry tried to help me come around, but I was too stubborn to take his good advice."

Viviene rubbed circles into Merlin's hand with her thumb, but didn't say anything.

Merlin moistened his lips with his tongue before continuing. "Do you remember what you asked me when we first met?"

Viviene nodded.

"We were in Peru," she said fondly. "I remember breaking out of the trees and into the sunlight. And there you were, laughing." She held Merlin's gaze. "And I knew that if I jumped first, you would follow me. I knew that we would be forever connected to each other; I just didn't realize then what exactly that connection would be."

"You are my spirit of adventure, Viviene. And for decades I pretended I didn't need you. I tried turning what family I did have at Kingsman into the family that I wanted to have with you. But I need you."

Viviene smiled at Merlin. "Where do we go from here?"

They considered the possibilities for a minute.

"Would you like to come back to Kingsman? We will not be able to reinstate you as a field agent, but you could work tactical support and intelligence with me. And I think you would really like Eggsy and Roxy, the youngsters I brought with me today. And your daughter isn't too old to be recruited."

Viviene threw her head back and laughed. "Yes! Yes, I would like to come back to Kingsman! As for my daughter, you can pitch the idea to her. I can't guarantee she'll accept."

Merlin rose to his feet and pulled Viviene up next to him. "Let's get to it, shall we?"

"But first…" she leaned on her tip-toes and turned his face towards her.

She kissed Merlin. In that kiss, she said all the things she had wanted to say to him since the day they split.

Merlin smiled under her kiss, understanding everything.

Merlin wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer to him.

Viviene wrapped her arms around his neck and melted into Merlin's strong frame.

They kissed each other until they ran out of breath.

They pressed their foreheads together, their noses smooshed.

"Let's get married," Viviene breathed out, finishing her sentence.

"Right now," Merlin replied.

He kissed her again.

"Right now?"

Merlin nodded and kissed Viviene yet another time. "I know a guy."

"Yes. I'm not going to make you ask me again."

For the first time in several long years, Merlin smiled a big smile with his heart in it.

**The End**

**AN: **A massive thank you to everyone who read this fic! After coming all this way, I hope I haven't disappointed any of you. I appreciate the support so much and wish you all the best; lots of love from me to you.

/

/

/

**Epilogue**

**One week later**

"Hey, ever been to London?" Frank asked as he pulled the card from its envelope and looked at the photo inside.

Dean looked up from the paperwork on his desk. "No, why?" He leaned back in his seat and lit a cigarette.

"Do you think it's about time we went?"

With a smile, Frank handed over the photo and read the message written in Viviene's handwriting.

It was a photo of Merlin and Viviene, back-to-back posing with assault rifles. Standing off to Viviene's side was her daughter, who threw bits of confetti over the couple. Standing off to Merlin's side were Eggsy and Roxy, wearing their Kingsman suits and looking every bit as serious as a Kingsman agent should be.

_Merlin and I would like a complete family portrait. Which happens to include you two. Hope to see you soon, Vivi._

Dean's eyes widened at the happy surprise that that card delivered. He brought the hand that wasn't holding the cigarette to his mouth and bit on the tip of his index finger. He handed the card back to Frank and stood up. "Fucking yes, it's about time."

/

**Six weeks later**

Eggsy tossed his handgun at the back of Merlin's head. Merlin, without looking away from his computer screens, caught the gun out of the air with his left hand.

"I take it you didn't like it?" Merlin asked. He had sent Eggsy to test out the latest modification to the handguns, the modification being that the gun would only fire when it recognized the palm print of a Kingsman agent.

"It's a'ight," Eggsy replied. "When my hand gets sweaty, it don't work so good."

Merlin chuckled. "Then don't get nervous."

Eggsy came over to Merlin's desk and roughly pulled open the top left drawer. Inside the drawer were four colored bowls filled with assorted chocolates. Eggsy grabbed a few of each and shoved them into his mouth.

"Those aren't for you, Galahad," Viviene said as she walked into the laboratory with two cups of tea. She came around to Merlin's right and placed one cup on the coaster in the top right corner of Merlin's desk.

"Thanks, love," Merlin said, turning his face up towards Viviene. She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss.

"Aww," Eggsy cheered from his side of Merlin's desk. "This is too cute. She makin' you soft, Merly Merlin?" He had a motion at the picture frames arranged neatly across the far edge of Merlin's desk. "Look at them pictures you now have up."

Merlin and Viviene shared a look. Viviene raised an eyebrow and Merlin grinned in response.

/

"Lancelot! Help me!" Eggsy whined as he covered his head with his arms and ran for cover.

However, Roxy was in a very similar bad position. In fact, all of the active duty Kingsman field agents were in a bad position.

To prove that they had not grown soft with their newfound domestic bliss and middle age, Merlin and Viviene were doing a training exercise. It was Merlin and Viviene versus them. It was a simple exercise: disable all members of the opposing party. A member would be considered disabled if shot with a paint gun on either the chest or head. A complex obstacle course had been set up on the Kingsman HQ's training ground. Each participant was given one paint gun and four clips.

While Tristan was too busy trying to take out Merlin, Viviene snuck up behind him and hooked her arm around his throat. She brought his outstretched firing arm down on her knee and he dropped his gun as pain shot through his arm. Using Tristan as a human shield, she fired at Bedivere.

Eggsy tried to shoot a Viviene, but ended up nailing Tristan in the chest and disabling him. Viviene dropped Tristan's body and rolled to the nearest cover.

Merlin pistol whipped Kay. He then readily dismantled his paint gun and tossed the parts at Eggsy. It wasn't lethal, but Eggsy knew he was going to have bruises where the parts hit him. Viviene reloaded her handgun and tossed it a few feet in the air above Merlin. Using Kay, who was stumbling to his feet, Merlin launched himself into the air and grabbed the gun.

Aiming, Merlin shot Lancelot twice in the chest and once on her face shield. She groaned that she was disabled so early in the training exercise. Landing, Merlin tossed the handgun back to Viviene, who had knocked Gawain onto his back with a quick two punch, duck, side kick combination. Viviene caught the gun, spun on her heels while still in a crouch, and shot Kay in the chest.

Merlin finished off Gawain with his traditional one shot in the face shield and two in the chest for Viviene with Tristan's discarded paint gun.

Viviene leaped up and planted both feet solidly on Percival's chest. They went down together and Viviene shot him in the face shield.

Merlin vaulted over a low wall and scooped up Percival's discarded gun with his left hand. As he made his three shots at Bedivere with his right hand, he bent his left arm behind his back and shot Eggsy in the knee.

Viviene slid down onto Merlin's shoulders from a higher wall. With her high vantage point, she was able to pick off Ector; it took more shots than she would have liked, but he didn't get her back. Merlin lowered her to the ground and they took off in the direction Eggsy was limping.

Merlin shot Eggsy in the other knee and Eggsy tripped to the ground. Merlin kicked Eggsy onto his back and placed on foot on Eggsy's wrist, preventing Eggsy from shooting him. He looked calmly down at the young man. "What did you say about getting soft?" Merlin asked.

Viviene came over to stand next to Merlin and looked down at Eggsy. "This pup is still wet behind the ears," she said. She lined up her aim to be parallel with Merlin's aim.

Eggsy groaned in misery as Merlin and Viviene shot him twice in the chest and once in the face shield in perfect synchronization.


End file.
